A Very Personal 'Thank You' to Uncle Barack

Cash flow.  Most small business failures are due to cash flow problems: income isn't properly accounted for, expenses aren't properly tracked, the company over-extends, market demands shift, or the entire economy goes into the toilet. Larger corporations are more insulated from cash flow problems, but do face longer-term complications. The common ground is that in both cases these problems are no one's responsibility other than those involved in the individual business. The difference is the government likes to get involved to help out the "too-big-to-fails." Case in point: "Cash for Caulkers."

This is a program the President is bandying about to raise his popularity polls and fill his campaign coffers with money from... oops, where was I going with that?  I mean, he's looking out for people, little people like you and me, by calling for a program that will give rebates to those wanting to make their homes more energy efficient.  "I’m calling on Congress to consider a new program to provide incentives for consumers who retrofit their homes to become more energy-efficient, which we know creates jobs, saves money for families and reduces the pollution that threatens our environment."  Hey, that's green, too! Spreading the love and saving the planet, one Nobel Peace Prize at a time.

Surprisingly (or not) Dow Chemical is on board with this program.  Of course, as a manufacturer of insulation products, why wouldn't they be on board?  I wonder if the government realizes that Dow's hydrocarbon- and fiberglass-based insulation products aren't exactly the 'green-greeniest" stuff around... but then, why nitpick?  I wonder if Dow Chemical remembers that the government was involved in destroying Dow Corning over silicone implants that were never shown to actually cause harm... but then, why nitpick?

Lowe's and The Home Depot have jumped on board with their support, and why not?  They sell these products.  And just look at how successful the Cash for Clunkers Program was, they point out. But wait!  This was supposed to be a thank you note.  So, here it is:

Dear Uncle Barack,

Thank you for the Cash for Caulkers Program.  I know it's not a done deal, yet... and heck, it may not even happen.  But thank you for mentioning it.  I can't even imagine how many homeowners are sitting around right now going, "Honey, I'm so satisfied sitting here with the heating running, stomping our carbon foot all over the planet. Of course, if there was a government stimulus package that somehow made tax payers cover a rebate for us to get better insulation - I might not feel that way."  They'll be coming around next year!  But I wanted to thank you for what happened today!

This is a slow time for us in the construction industry.  The economy is in the tank, building is off, it's been raining, and it's the holidays, so people don't even want us in their houses.  We install insulation.  It's been so slow that I've watched our competitors go out of business.  In fact, it's so slow that I, here in accounts receivable/payable, haven't even had to bother with bills - there's just no money to pay them.  I haven't had to worry about payroll - there just isn't any money to pay it.  And it was looking to be a slow, peaceful, quiet Christmas season until one of our customers called up  wanting insulation installed before the holidays!  But thanks to you, we're off the hook.

Seems that hours before we were to start that customer heard you might give him money in the future to upgrade his insulation, so he's going to wait it out until next year.  Thanks, Uncle Barack.  Now I don't have to busy myself with processing that income.  We'll get to it next year... if we're still here.

Sincerely,

Edward G. Roberts