"Back from 'who ate us'?" "No, hiatus."

OBAMA'S WAR

President Barack Obama's long anticipated "Afghaniplan" is scheduled to be announced this very evening, with a troop increase of 30-35,000 expected, which is a tad less than the 140,000 his commanding General recommended for success. Our little candidate is growing up. It seems like just yesterday he was saying things like, "I don't oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war."  Of course, that quote was directed toward the War in Iraq. 

After eight years there, Afghanistan is clearly a different story... just ask the Russians. But fear not: Obama is not growing weary, even if his party is. He plans for U.S. troops to be there for at least three more years, beating the Soviets by a year and a half. He states that we will not leave before the job is done. By the way: does anyone know what the job is?

Due to its mountainous terrain (among other factors) there has never been an effective, centralized government in Afghanistan, with the possible exception of the East India Company. The area is nothing more than a barren pile of minerals, a line of demarcation between warring ethnic factions. If Obama really thinks Bin Laden is still hiding in the hills there, don't send more U.S. soldiers into harm's way to look for him; send mining companies. Within a few years of strip mining, there won't be anywhere left for the b*stard to hide.

SEALing THEIR FATE

Four U.S. SEALs have been accused of the mistreatment of another poor Islamic prisoner, one Ahmed Hashim Abed. This fella claims he was punched in the mouth during his detainment by the members of SEAL Team 10. One of the soldiers, Matthew McCabe, has been charged with assault. You probably have never heard of McCabe, but you might remember Abed from a 2004 incident during which four U.S. contractors were murdered, burned, dragged, and hung from a bridge over the Euphrates River under his orders. The SEALs have given our mamby-pamby, Obama-era military the finger and demanded Courts-Martial (facing criminal charges and possible jail time) rather than administrative discipline.  And get this: they are to be arraigned on DECEMBER 7th! Good for them for standing up! If these SEALs don't win their case against the Obama Administration's witness - fellow Muslim Ahmed Hashim Abed, we all need to march to Washington and defend the men at home who are defending us abroad!  And I mean march armed to the teeth.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This despicable treatment of our soldiers comes from the post-Abu Ghraib, we're so sorry for being Americans attitude that has only intensified under the current administration. ('W'-ers out there rest assured that the previous administration was guilty of this, too - just to a lesser extent.) Don't humiliate the enemy, they tell us. You will just make them angrier. Don't humiliate them? You mean like this?

This administration tells us we no longer can waterboard because it is cruel and inhumane.  Besides, they tell us, it is not an effective way to get information and could suggest to people we are not compassionate.  You mean like this?

I'm going to address waterboarding for just a moment. I saw Mancow do a little bit on it. He apparently (I don't listen to his show) was a big fan of it until he tried it himself in-studio:

So Mancow admits that waterboarding is torture.  Well, he forgot to ask these 4 questions:

1. Yeah?
2. And?
3. So?
4. What?*

Why in the Hell would I care? Is waterboarding torture? Possibly. I don't really know the definition. I can tell you this: Waterboarding by no means looks like a pleasant experience. In fact, it is so bad that it is probably among the top 5 reasons that I'm not a scumbag, Hell-bound, militant, Islamic terrorist today. I say the only way you do waterboarding wrong is if the piece of garbage terrorist gets up afterward. It is my understanding that we actually only waterboarded one individual (a bunch of times, grant you) and it worked... remarkably well. It worked so well that we only had to threaten one other individual with it before he started singing about terrorist cells and info. If waterboarding some Muslim dink saves just one person from a fate like this...

...bring me an ironing board and a pitcher of water! I have compassion. It makes me passionate. And maybe it makes a SEAL passionate from time to time.

To all other SEALs out there: In the future, you take the future "Objective Ambers" out there, cut off their toes or noses or whatever to get information - or not - then put a bullet in their head... followed by another. We need you protecting us, not wasting your time in disciplinary hearings or Courts-Martial. Oh, and "Thank You" to all of you from all of us.

*And thanks to Bill Hicks for not objecting to me stealing from his joke.


HIGHER A-SPIRE-ATIONS

Remember the Chicago Spire? This massive, 2000-feet high skyscraper was to be the third tallest building in the world, and tallest residential structure ever. The project's financing collapsed with the current economic downturn, with little hope of it ever becoming a reality. Until now...

The AFL-CIO is now looking at raising more than $100 million to get the project going. Why? Because some of their union members are facing 30% unemployment rates. This project would provide over one million man-hours of labor at a time when it is greatly needed. The work, that is, if not the building.

At a time when people are losing their homes because they are overextended, is it wise to build a luxury residential high-rise, a monument to fiscal irresponsibility?  A Cortlandt Homes Project for the 2000's?  I think not, so I have a better suggestion. Why not build a wall like we have been talking about in this country for the last ten years?

This will be something practical, something useful, something with purpose.  It will get these union guys working again... they will like that. It will protect the citizens of this country from a horrible enemy. And it will help insure the economic integrity of the U.S. for generations to come.

I'm not talking about a wall to keep gardeners and meat packers south of the boarder.  And I'm not talking about a wall to keep emergency room visitors and weekend gamblers to the north.  I'm talking about a massive wall, some 50 feet high, made of concrete, steal, and whatever else that can be scrounged, impervious to human efforts to blast through, cross over, or tunnel under, email and phone signal-proof, sealed, and left forever. Something that will make the Great Wall of China look like a Christo and Jeanne-Claude installation.  I'm talking about building a wall around Washington, D.C.

Now, that's construction that would help this country.