I'll Have Seconds on the Buffet

Well, here I am again: I'm like a fat man who diets by fasting then going to the Golden Skillet for a 6 hour eat-a-thon. So, I'm going to do a little of this and that today, sort of a buffet of recent events.

Coming Soon: Lost & Found, staring Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan
I suppose the most important event to have occurred since my last check-in was the airing of the last episode of Lost. This marks another series that came and went without my having watched a single episode. If you missed it, Lost centered around a group of travelers who get stranded on a deserted Pacific island, with no way to get home. We learn more about each character and about his life in the outside world through single-episode themes. Other characters come and go, but for some reason our heroes can't escape. On second thought, I have seen this... but it was called Gilligan's Island.

Thou Shalt Have No Other Idle Before Me
Of course, the end of Lost wasn't the only social shake-up of the season: Simon Cowell ended his American Idol run with the season finale. Now, I personally know a number of people who religiously tune into to AI, so I do not exclaim what a senseless waste of time that activity is. Out of fear of offending anyone near and dear to me I'm not going to point out that it's nothing but televised karaoke. It would be wrong of me to bring to light the fact that the contestants, rather than being Joe Anybody's filling us with hope of reaching our own goals, are professional musicians who have been working clubs and bars for years, and this is another step up the ladder like a Disney audition. It would be callous of me to say the people on this show (including Ryan Seacrest) would never make it during an era where talent, and not image, was the determining factor for success. And I refuse to point out that it is pitiful to watch others aspiring to reach their dreams of becoming famous on television while sitting on one's fanny staring at the boob tube.

On a totally separate note my wife and I were excited that CMT decided to run two reruns of My Big Redneck Wedding during the Idol finale. "We love you, Tamzen and Kevin!"

The Oily Worm Gets The Bird
Who could possibly be less popular than BP right now? Barack Obama, that's who. He has taken quite a beating in the popularity polls for not fixing the oil leak in the gulf, what was described by one local "conservative" talk show host as the "worst environmental catastrophe in history." (What about all the fallout from Nagasaki and Hiroshima? Oops! Those were cities and human lives... they don't count. Same with the Holocaust and The Great Purge.) In response, JaBaracky has taken full responsibility for this spill: his administration will now take over the whole mess - conveniently timed five weeks after the experts have devised ways to stop the spill. Here's what will happen: the oil leak will be plugged - we humans are pretty good at fixing things; the gulf will become clean again, through the money of BP and the American taxpayer, the efforts of conservationists, a few photo ops of hippies wiping a seagull with Dawn, but mostly the natural cycles of the planet (ain't crude oil a naturally occurring substance? Gee, do you think maybe the earth can handle what effectively is a small bruise?); Barack Obama will take credit for cleaning up his "Katrina" and blame BP for all that was done wrong; and the media will attribute any poor poll showings as the result of BP's action/inaction, NOT to the Obama administration turning this socialized country into a more socialist country.

Oh, and 11 men will still be dead. Remember them? Don't worry - neither does anyone else it seems.

The only good news to come out of all of this is that the Stooges short Oily to Bed, Oily to Rise* can be watched right here. I love this one.

*Curly episode

Empathetic? More Like Impathetic
A recent study at some university of liberalization has resulted in the claim that today's college students are less empathetic than college students 30 years ago. This is based upon a review of 72 studies involving 14,000 students between 1979 and 2009. The main blame is placed on the media and video games and was presented at the annual meeting of the Association for Psychological Science in Boston, the dumbest city in the nation. Other studies refute these findings, but disagreeing with a psychologist is like telling a magician that magic is not real. "It is, too... I do it all the time!" To see how you compare to college students today you can take the test here.*

It seems to me, based upon these questions and claims, that what they are actually looking for is sympathy, not empathy. You see, empathy involves the capacity to understand another, to "feel" his situation. Sympathy is the act of taking that feeling into oneself, of sharing it, of feeling bad, too. Yes, bad - negative. No one ever feels sympathetic toward a winner. Here's an easy way to remember the difference:

Empathy - feeling for someone.
Add an 's' to it and you get:
Sympathy - feeling sorry for someone.

Sympathy injects a victim or excuse mentality. I can feel for the homeless man: it must be scary not to have a home or a job or knowledge of the source of your next meal. But I don't have to feel sorry that he reacted to hardships in his life by giving up. Because of my empathy I will be wary of the fact that his behavior could be very erratic. Because I do not participate in sympathy, I will not get stabbed and robbed trying to take him a sandwich under the highway overpass.

My point here is that I don't think this study found what the researchers were looking for, but if its results are accurate, there may be hope for this country yet.

*My score was 31.

GOOGLE HATES AMERICAN BUSINESS!

Today GOOGLE marks the 30th Anniversary of PAC MAN with a GOOGLE Doodle of the game. Go to www.google.com and you will see it. If you wait a few seconds or click on it or something you can play it.

This stunt has got to be the most egregious attempt yet to destroy the productivity of the American Small Business. GOOGLE has really shown its colors. First they "play ball" with the Clinese (yes, the Clinton-China Syndicate) for years, and now this: luring the American worker away from his duties with desk top games. And you've read it here first. Here's what I know so far:

Use the arrow keys to move your PAC MAN character. Everything else is pretty much the same, except the location of the ghost rejuvenation center will throw you off at first. Watch for those bonus fruit, and there are two dead ends - one has a power pellet. If you hit "Insert Coin" a Mrs. PAC MAN pops up, too. Control her simultaneously with the A-W-D-S keys, but watch out: if one dies they both die.

I was never really good at PAC MAN back in the day... but I'm getting better.

I JUST WANT TO CELEBRATE...

Do you ever root for the underdog? The little guy in the ring? The girl with the broken foot? The team whose salary cap doesn't match the National Deficit? I know I often do. It's really kind of American to do so, isn't it? I mean, we were the underdogs from the git-go. We were winning independence from the British Empire when nobody was winning independence from the British Empire. A ragtag force of inn keepers, share croppers, letter writers, surveyors, and silversmiths (and mercenaries) accomplished the seemingly impossible! That instills in us a great love of heroes. Our folklore - as opposed to that of most other societies - is full of a wide range of brave and distinguished men and women who act valiantly through difficult times, rather than bizarre gods and fairies who exalt and smote at will.

Could this be part of the reason, or at least indicative, of why this country is so much more advanced and has a higher standard of living than most? (Yes, I know about Switzerland and downtown Hong Kong, but I'm talking about societies of greater numbers and wider ranging backgrounds.) We root for the one fighting the good fight. The guy with his eyes on first. The one whose will - whose desire, whose passion, whose drive - will take him to the winner's circle... or at least bring him back again.

The trend in this country, of late it seems, is to move away from this. As an example I recently came across this story, which reported that collegiate golfer Grant Whybark intentionally hit his drive out-of-bounds on a playoff hole to give Seth Doran a spot in the NAIA National Championship, which Whybark had already secured for himself. (Please read the whole article.) I don't know anything about the author Shane Bacon, but wonder where his sense of values came from... or how widely accepted they really are. A few quotes from the article:

There are times to be competitive. Moments when all you want to do is humiliate your opponent as you defeat him. - Is this the definition of being competitive? I thought being competitive meant setting a goal, working hard, striving to succeed, performing at your very best, and not stopping until that goal - of being the best, your best - is reached. Humiliating the other guy is not the same as winning, and winning isn't the same as humiliating the other guy.

What makes it so incredible? Whybark intentionally did it, because he felt Doran had earned a spot in the next round. - And here I thought the rules of a game that is hundreds of year old were designed to determine whether a spot is or is not earned. I guess the feeling of a college sophomore trumps the integrity of game. Personally, I never liked being handed a victory... in fact, I can't remember ever being handed one. My dad told me when I was little that he'd never "let me win" - that way I'd know when I beat him, I did it. No charity. I follow that same policy with my kids.

A golfer simply knew his place, was comfortable with where he was, and thought that a senior, playing in his final tournament as a collegiate golfer, had done enough to earn one more week with the game he loved. - Whybark's place was on the championship team. His status there - as team member or individual winner - was up to his performance in that playoff. Doran could have earned that spot had Whybark played his best. As it is, he was given the spot. I'm not saying he's not a great player; I'm saying Whybark stole his opportunity to prove it. I'd have cheered had Doran then lined up and hit his drive out near Whybark's. THAT is being competitive!

Am I way off here? Just a cold-hearted jerk? Are we all supposed to get a little slack just because someone feels we deserve it?

Or are we supposed to give it our all, against the best we are up against, and come through with our heads held high - win or lose - with the spirit of a champion?

Oh, somewhere in this favored land the sun is shining bright;
The band is playing somewhere, and somewhere hearts are light,
And somewhere men are laughing, and somewhere children shout;
But there is no joy in Mudville - mighty Casey hit a grand slam...

...after the pitcher felt bad and lobbed one softly across the plate slow enough that Casey's aging eyes could focus on it and give him a decent chance at making a showing in front of the hometown crowd, but the town got depressed and ended up thinking, "Maybe we don't have to work that hard... doesn't someone owe us?" And it wasn't long before all the shops closed and people moved away and the baseball team was sold and Casey was traded to the Turkish League for a...

A Bunch of Bull

I've been away for quite some time, but now I am back for you, dear reader. Plus, I've been digging a hole and want to take a moment to cool off before I go to the store to buy a post. I'm going to try to cover some of the things I almost care about briefly.

By now you have read all about the attempted bombing in New York. A few highlights:

A terrorist scumbag and all around moron set up an SUV in Times Square outside a showing of the Lion King stage production
Said SUV was filled with gasoline containers, propane tanks, alarm clocks, fireworks, and non-volatile fertilizer
Smoke but no boom
Owner tracked down through one of many hidden VIN's on the vehicle
Said he sold SUV to brown guy with accent
Said brown guy put on no fly list
Same brown guy got a ticket for Pakistan and boarded the plane several hours later
Brown guy arrested before plane took off

There is now talk of a dry-run several days before this incident, suggestions that he was disappointed in life here, made disparaging remarks about George Bush to his realtor, blah, blah, blah. You will hear a lot of this between now and when Britney Spears comes out of the closet to try to save her career. Here are some points of interest I find... well, interesting.

1. Wanna-be mad bomber Faisal Shahzad will go down in history as being the most inept terrorist of all time. Fire crackers, gasoline, and cow manure: an 8 year-old with an iPhone could build a better bomb through an internet search. He claims to have attended bomb-making classes in Pakistan. Is the Taliban resorting to ITT remote classes? It's good to see that this economy is affecting terrorist organizations. You just can't find good help anywhere.

2. Attorney General and Number One Racist Eric Holder stated that this individual had not been on any terror watch lists; however, I read an article (which I can't seem to find anywhere now) that stated investigators identified him through the previous owner who was able to pick his picture out of a line-up. With no previous record, how did they have a photo? Granted, it may have been in among the stuff in the vehicle, like his keys, but I don't remember reading about a wallet being left behind. Could it be that this individual - this moron - had been on a watch list... and we lost him?

3. This SUV was parked on Times Square, in a busy area, and near the Lion King performance. This also places it very close to the Viacom building. Viacom, and its subsidiary Comedy Central, recently censored the show South Park (again) for its portrayal of former thief and known pedophile Muhammad. Way to go, Comedy Central. Bowing down to terrorists always works. Didn't Bill Clinton prove that? You made it to The Pansy Corner.

4. Abu Talhah al-Amrikee of Revolution Muslim, "a radical Islamic group based in Queens," posted the threat that caused Viacom to fold. His real name? Zachary Adam Chesser. Let all of that sink in. A radical Islamic group in Queens? Really? Zachary is a Muslim terrorist? Boy, Mr. and Mrs. Chesser have got to be proud. Folks, turns out there's something worse your son can become than a Democrat... barely worse.

5. Faisal Shahzad was a U.S. citizen. Yep, naturalized because he learned a tech skill and passed a citizenship test. People talk about how hard that test is: Who was the 8th U.S. President? Name the three branches of government. Which arm can raise taxes? Coke or Pepsi? People say most adults that were born here couldn't pass that test, and I bet that's true. Which shows how wrong and ineffective it is. When our test to get into this country would deny natural American but allow would-be terrorists, we've got a problem. Joe Public doesn't know that Martin Van Buren wasn't on American Idol last season, but he isn't going to raise a stink about it. Here in America he is free to be ignorant, drink beer, and watch American Gladiators every night. It's a sweet deal. You can't do that in other countries: you don't know who Kim Jong-il is in North Korea, a cop can shoot you in the street. Joe doesn't even have to know who his mayor is, and he likes it that way. Let's get rid of the ones who know too much. During a time of war the test should read:
1. Are you brown?
2. Do you talk funny?
DENIED
I know that sounds horrible, but desperate times call for prejudiced measures!

6. "This incident is another sobering reminder of the times in which we live. At home and around the world there are those who would attack our citizens and would slaughter innocent men, women and children in pursuit of their murderous agenda." - Barack Obama
Muderous agenda, Mr. President? I believe they like to refer to it as Islam. Don't think your membership card keeps you safe. Just ask Viacom.