A Clue to the Crimes

Sweden was hit by terrorist attacks on Saturday during the Christmas shopping season. While police are stopping short of declaring the two explosive attacks Islamic in nature, the following audio file was sent to the Swedish news agency hours before the bombings:

Now the Islamic state has been created. We now exist here in Europe and in Sweden. We are a reality... I don't want to say more about this. Our actions will speak for themselves.

Sweden's Prime Minister Fredrik Reinfeldt had this to say about the incident:

[The attack] is unacceptable because Sweden is an open society and an open society which has stated a wish that people should be able to have different backgrounds, believe in different gods or not believe in any at all, and live side by side in our open society.

I have the following to say to the Prime Minister (and the people of Sweden):

Fred, I have here at my desk a clue. I'm taking out a Sharpie pen and am writing "Islam" on it. I will place the clue in a package and send it international post to you. When you receive it, take it out of the envelope, hand it to your personal secretary, and have him toss it to you. Catch the clue, Fred. Catch the clue. I appreciate your view of how the world and your own country should operate. I really do. In fact, I would love to live in such a society... theoretically. However, countries have borders because not everyone shares those opinions. Those borders define states for the rest of us. Without them, any state can be declared. And when that happens, the state of your own country changes. Don't just take my word for it... reread the suicide bomber's own words.

A Burning Sensation

The first thing they teach you in journalism school is to keep your pen as light as a feather when covering touchy subjects such as freedom of religion. There is nothing in the world, they tell students, that will fill an editor's inbox faster than the suggestion that religion is passé or one is better than another. And if you are writing about Islam, get ready to lose a cartoonist or two before the death threats and bombings subside.

Fortunately, I majored in management with a ridiculously strong emphasis on military history, so screw the terrorist Muslim scum. I'll speak my mind, thank you very much.

Now, I want to be perfectly clear on this: I believe in and fully support the principal in this country that the government should never interfere with a people's desire to gather for religious ceremony. I also believe those religious orders have no business trying to strong-arm the government and trample on individual rights. And I also believe that Islam is not a religion, but rather a blood-thirsty evil Cult of Death, Fear, and Hatred. Is that clear enough?

You may have read this week about a Reverend Terry Jones down in Florida who was planning to burn several hundred copies of the Qur'an on Saturday to mark the 9th anniversary of Islam's Attack on the World Economy (failure) and Sensibility (success). This has caused no small number of significant public figures to bemoan his right to do so while imploring him to show true Patriotic spirit by cowing down to those who have murdered, are murdering, and will continue to murder Americans in the name of Islam.

I'm not here to defend Terry Jones: I know nothing about him. For all I know he is a Jew-hating psychopathic religionist who embezzles money from gullible non-thinkers through the false guarantee of divine deliverance. And I have no intention of defending his right to burn a book, because I just can't really get behind book burnings myself - unless it's really cold out and the book is really pointless, like the Qur'an. No, I'm here to talk about the outpouring of support for those that would have us all dead.

Let's start with General David Betrayus. He has claimed that the act of burning these Qur'ans would put American soldiers in harm's way. I don't want to speak for any soldiers but I don't see that not burning Qur'ans has kept them out of harm's way, General. Do you honestly think that bowing down to our enemies all over the world and allowing them to build victory mosques on battlefields is a way to strengthen our soldiers' defense? I'll tell you what puts soldiers in harm's way, Dave: putting an automatic weapon into the hands of a 19-year old Ohio farm boy, sending him to a violence-plagued cesspool that has never had a sustainable central government - not even under the iron fist of the Soviet Union, putting in place restrictive policies, and demanding that he be an ambassador of the United States to the very people trying to kill him! Quit expecting him to do your worthless Secretary of State's job! His is hard enough:

"Johnny! Remember what we did when the wild hogs were threatening the crops? Do the same thing to the Muslims, boy, then get back home!"

Do you remember when a political soldier was someone like Omar N. Bradley (The G.I.'s General, our last 5-Star General, and by God one helluva fine American who knew what it was all about - taking care of his boys)?

"George, you know we need to kick their asses and I know we need to kick their asses... but you can't say to Congress, 'We're going to kick their asses.' You've got to be delicate when talking to Washington. Now, let's go kick their asses!"

That was it. That was as far as politics got into a real soldier. But with Colin Powell all the rules changed. They started wanting to be political advisers. Started thinking they should be handling policy. Generals who wanted to shape international diplomacy. No! Go kill, break, and suppress. Protect your soldiers through aggressive maneuvering and attacks. When your forces sit still - literally or figuratively - the danger they are exposed to increases exponentially!

[Please don't write in and defend McCrystal, either. By his own admission he voted for Barack Obama, a Muslim. That would be like Ike voting for Joe Kennedy. And if that weren't bad enough, his favorite beer is Bud Lime. Dude... Bud Lime? Tough, soldierboy. Real tough.]

And speaking of our Supreme Muslim Leader, Barack Obama has decided to weigh in on the issue with... look, is there even any point in covering what you all knew would happen? Hope & change, hope & change.

The last one I want to cover is the response from Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the guy pushing for the mosque to be built near Ground Zero. Terry Jones has postponed the Dove World Outreach Center's Qur'an Burning and Covered Dish Supper pending the relocation of the proposed mosque to be called Cordoba. Again, I don't want to speak for anyone, so I will let the Imam speak for himself via this article from ABC News:

"My life has been dedicated to peacemaking... If I knew this would happen, that this would cause this kind of pain, I wouldn't have done it."

But, he explains, he must build the mosque at the original site in order to defend us against "danger from the radicals in the Muslim world to our national security."

"We have freedom of speech, but with freedom comes responsibility. ... This is dangerous for our national security, but also it is the un-Christian thing to do."

"I am glad that Pastor Jones has decided not to burn any Korans... However, I have not spoken with Pastor Jones or Imam Musri [a Florida imam purported to have acted as a go-between]. I am surprised by their announcement. We are not going to toy with our religion or any other. Nor are we here to barter. We are here to extend our hand to build peace and harmony."

"I'm less concerned about the radicals in America (anyone against the building of the mosque) than the radicals in the Muslim world."

"Our national security now hinges on how we negotiate this."

Who negotiates what? Is this Muslim really telling us what would be Christian? Peacemaking? Does this remind anyone else of that Mel Brooks song?

I don't want war! All I want is peace... peace... peace!

A little piece of Poland,

A little piece of France,

A little piece of Austria

And Hungary, perchance!

A littel slice of Turkey

And all that that entails,

And then a bit of England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales!

Are there any questions about what this mosque represents? About what Islam's opinion of America is? About how we should proceed? Still not sure whether or not we are in a religious war against Islam? Are you sitting on the fence? Are you a Muslim?

If you are a Muslim, the last thing in the world I'd want to do is convert you into my belief system. You'd probably just screw it up and give it a bad name anyway. But I will ask you to go through the same process I put myself through: look closely at and study objectively all of the beliefs put into your head by others. Ask yourself: Does my religion truly represent who I am as a person?

In my case I had to throw some supposed tenats of my religion out. Some were just things that many who claimed to be like me felt. Others were dead wrong. And still others are tightly held beliefs of the church, but I just can't buy into them. Don't worry - God and I have discussed these issues in depth and we're okay with it. At least, I am. He has the perogative to disagree with me in the end. But for now, I have to live with myself.

As a Muslim you don't have to ask yourself things like:

• Is drinking an alcoholic beverage in moderation really evil?
• Do I need to stay pissed at the Jews forever?
• Do the Romans share any blame for the death of my Savior?
• Does prophecy render all of those feelings moot anyway?

But you might want to ask yourself things like:

• Do I really believe burning people alive is a God-ly activity? [WARNING: That link is VERY graphic - I made myself watch it and several others on the site, but they absolutely made me physically ill. If it doesn't make you ill, you might be a Muslim - scumbag. And if it doesn't make you angry, you are not human.]
• Should women really be beaten on a regular basis?
• If my children go through a rebellious stage does murdering them make me a better parent?

Again, I'm not telling you how to live your pathetic, evil life... I'm just suggesting an alternative to death and hatred.

In the meantime, The Western World needs to stop Muslims from building victory monuments and financial centers in this country or any other, eliminate their training grounds, and beat them into submission... or extinction - whichever is required for survival.

I know this has been an uncharacteristically heavy posting for me, but it's hard to take this subject matter lightly. Still, I am a professional who is committed to his audience. So, in deference to Jeff Foxworthy, I give you the following:

How to tell if your religion is really a blood-thirsty cult:

If when you proclaim "God is great" people react with fear, you may be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If your spiritual leader beats women and married children, you may be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If the only guaranteed passage to paradise is by murdering someone in the name of your god, you just might be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you've ever flown an airplane full of innocent people into a building full of innocent people to demonstrate your faith in God, you perhaps should consider the possibility that you just might be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you've ever cheered at news that a small boy has blown himself and 30 or 40 market goers to pieces, and yet are outraged when someone 8500 miles away threatens to burn a book printed, sold, and purchased 8500 miles away, I'm pretty sure you are part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you hate South Park... you're just kind of stupid and take yourself way too seriously.

And finally, if you are a Muslim, you are part of a blood-thirsty cult. May you be buried face down under a dog, and may Hitler and Jeffery Dahmer play marbles with your... well, I wouldn't want to offend anyone.

GOD BLESS THE SOLDIER - THANK YOU!

-FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE, AND ALL THAT YOU DO-

That's Not My Problem

I hope that everyone was able to spend some time between throwing the ribs on the barbie and passing out in a drunken stupor to give thanks for the brave men and women who have given up a part of their possessions, their freedoms, their innocence, and their lives so that we all can enjoy ours. I want to thank each member - past, present, and future - of our military forces: Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and Coast Guard. While Memorial Day is set aside specifically for those soldiers who are no longer with us, we recognize there is much more to lose than your life, and we all thank you.

I have to admit, though, that I had a difficult time with my personal remembrances and meditations yesterday. I was distracted by the Israeli raid on the blockade-busting supply vessel that left 9 Hamas - uh, Palestinian supporters dead. The news called it a failed raid. I don't see how... unless they were trying to kill more than 9 activists. I want to explain, though, that it wasn't the raid itself that had me distracted, but rather my anger at what will most certainly be sanctimonious drivel coming out of the Obama Administration. So far the administration has cautiously stated it wants a little more background on the situation before making a statement. Okay, here's some background:

The Allies created Israel after World War II. The Palestinians had stolen the land from the Jews during Holy Wars several hundred years (histories vary on time line) before that, but there was plenty of Muslim land in the Middle East for them to settle on after WWII. The problem was that NO Muslim country wanted the Palestinians. Egypt is open about this fact,and the rest of the Muslim world only sides with Hamas to hurt Israel. While Jews and Palestinians are seemingly only wanting a homeland, the Palestinians use terrorists in an attempt to get their way. While the United States feels it has a right to defend itself from Muslim terrorists all over the world, it seemingly has problems with consistently recognizing Israel's right to do the same. And by "consistently" I mean any time the damn Democrats are in charge.

Enough of that. Hooray, Israel! I apologize for the way this country is treating you. It is our White House that takes this position. Please, in the future, make sure your brethren over here quit voting for the damn Democrats! Florida and New York are ridiculous with it. And at the rate illegals are streaming over our southern border and being registered to vote by Democrat groups, you'd better hope Hamas never learns to speak Spanish.

Speaking of dirty, worthless, moronic, amoral, unethical scumbags, the Gores are getting divorced. Having gone through a divorce myself, I wouldn't wish the experience on any other human. That leaves out my ex-wife and AlGore. This putrid pile of political pestilence has been married to AlGore for 40 years. Or was that supposed to be 'married to Tipper Gore?' It doesn't matter... they are interchangeable. She fed for years on parents' fears that their children would grow up to be violent devil worshipers if they were allowed to listen to music albums that did not contain a warning label, and he has fed upon the fear he instilled in Americans about the world turning into a microwave oven because of hairspray and air conditioners. I wonder if they will split all of the tax dollars they stole from us down the middle, or if he will get more because of his Nobel Prize? Oh, and Academy Award? And upcoming Papalship.

Finally, yesterday I was watching Pawn Stars on the History Channel. There was a marathon, much time was wasted. To the point, a college kid bedecked with a torn camouflage baseball cap and sporting a Cajun-esque dialect came in with a miniature suit of armor. It was pretty cool, amazing detail. Paulie told him that it had been used as home decor back in the Victorian Age. (I don't know the name of the guy on Pawn Stars, so I just call him Paulie. A 'Paulie' is the dirtball son of any guy who would be lost to you in the annals of obscurity but for getting a stint on a reality show on TLC, History, Discovery, etc. - which is called "Teutuling".) He explains that it would have cost about $100, which is, adjusting for inflation, roughly $1900 today. The kid asks, "Is that how much you're going to give me?"

"*chuckle* No."

"Why not?"

"Because the suit of armor hasn't kept up with inflation."

"But that's not my problem."

I hate this kid with every pore of my soul. He should be pithed. His parents should have been sterilized. His grandparents dug up and thrown into jail. I can safely say that had I been the pawn shop owner I would have reached out and hit him in the head with the first tape deck I could grab. "But that's not my problem." Yes, it is specifically your problem! You are the one with what is essentially the Franklin Mint Collector Plate of the Victorian Age. You are the one wanting money for it. You are the one who walked into the Pawn Shop seeking said funds. And you are the one wasting - presumably - your time and money on the college education you claim the money will go toward.

I hate to sound so hateful but these are exactly the mentally lazy fleshballs who are plunging our country into the debt of socialism. "That's not my problem." The Mantra of the Me Generation. (As well as my generation, the Baby Boomers, and everyone else.) These people need to be identified and exported... immediately. Before it's too late. There is great responsibility that goes along with living in a free society, and this guy clearly hasn't even tried to step up to the plate and educate himself in the school of responsibility and self-reliance. And what was almost as sick, Paulie let him pawn it for $1100 to help him out. I'd have only offered him the business card of a local doctor who might be able to help him remove the suit of armor after I'd-

All right, this is going down hill. I'm going to end this with a little advice to my young college-faring friend on Pawn Stars:

Remember, there are no stupid questions, only stupid people. Try not to open your mouth too much in class, idiot.

Boy, I'm in a mood today.

A Bunch of Bull

I've been away for quite some time, but now I am back for you, dear reader. Plus, I've been digging a hole and want to take a moment to cool off before I go to the store to buy a post. I'm going to try to cover some of the things I almost care about briefly.

By now you have read all about the attempted bombing in New York. A few highlights:

A terrorist scumbag and all around moron set up an SUV in Times Square outside a showing of the Lion King stage production
Said SUV was filled with gasoline containers, propane tanks, alarm clocks, fireworks, and non-volatile fertilizer
Smoke but no boom
Owner tracked down through one of many hidden VIN's on the vehicle
Said he sold SUV to brown guy with accent
Said brown guy put on no fly list
Same brown guy got a ticket for Pakistan and boarded the plane several hours later
Brown guy arrested before plane took off

There is now talk of a dry-run several days before this incident, suggestions that he was disappointed in life here, made disparaging remarks about George Bush to his realtor, blah, blah, blah. You will hear a lot of this between now and when Britney Spears comes out of the closet to try to save her career. Here are some points of interest I find... well, interesting.

1. Wanna-be mad bomber Faisal Shahzad will go down in history as being the most inept terrorist of all time. Fire crackers, gasoline, and cow manure: an 8 year-old with an iPhone could build a better bomb through an internet search. He claims to have attended bomb-making classes in Pakistan. Is the Taliban resorting to ITT remote classes? It's good to see that this economy is affecting terrorist organizations. You just can't find good help anywhere.

2. Attorney General and Number One Racist Eric Holder stated that this individual had not been on any terror watch lists; however, I read an article (which I can't seem to find anywhere now) that stated investigators identified him through the previous owner who was able to pick his picture out of a line-up. With no previous record, how did they have a photo? Granted, it may have been in among the stuff in the vehicle, like his keys, but I don't remember reading about a wallet being left behind. Could it be that this individual - this moron - had been on a watch list... and we lost him?

3. This SUV was parked on Times Square, in a busy area, and near the Lion King performance. This also places it very close to the Viacom building. Viacom, and its subsidiary Comedy Central, recently censored the show South Park (again) for its portrayal of former thief and known pedophile Muhammad. Way to go, Comedy Central. Bowing down to terrorists always works. Didn't Bill Clinton prove that? You made it to The Pansy Corner.

4. Abu Talhah al-Amrikee of Revolution Muslim, "a radical Islamic group based in Queens," posted the threat that caused Viacom to fold. His real name? Zachary Adam Chesser. Let all of that sink in. A radical Islamic group in Queens? Really? Zachary is a Muslim terrorist? Boy, Mr. and Mrs. Chesser have got to be proud. Folks, turns out there's something worse your son can become than a Democrat... barely worse.

5. Faisal Shahzad was a U.S. citizen. Yep, naturalized because he learned a tech skill and passed a citizenship test. People talk about how hard that test is: Who was the 8th U.S. President? Name the three branches of government. Which arm can raise taxes? Coke or Pepsi? People say most adults that were born here couldn't pass that test, and I bet that's true. Which shows how wrong and ineffective it is. When our test to get into this country would deny natural American but allow would-be terrorists, we've got a problem. Joe Public doesn't know that Martin Van Buren wasn't on American Idol last season, but he isn't going to raise a stink about it. Here in America he is free to be ignorant, drink beer, and watch American Gladiators every night. It's a sweet deal. You can't do that in other countries: you don't know who Kim Jong-il is in North Korea, a cop can shoot you in the street. Joe doesn't even have to know who his mayor is, and he likes it that way. Let's get rid of the ones who know too much. During a time of war the test should read:
1. Are you brown?
2. Do you talk funny?
DENIED
I know that sounds horrible, but desperate times call for prejudiced measures!

6. "This incident is another sobering reminder of the times in which we live. At home and around the world there are those who would attack our citizens and would slaughter innocent men, women and children in pursuit of their murderous agenda." - Barack Obama
Muderous agenda, Mr. President? I believe they like to refer to it as Islam. Don't think your membership card keeps you safe. Just ask Viacom.

THE JOE WILSON SHOW

It's time for another episode of The Joe Wilson Show tonight, and you've got a sneak preview exclusively here on edwardgroberts.blogspot.com, so tell all of your friends. You can catch the live broadcast tonight at 9:00 PM EST on the channel that would otherwise be broadcasting something worth a squat. Without further ado, here it is:

BILL LIVINGOOD: Madam Speaker… the President of the United States.

(applause)

BARACK OBAMA: Madame Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, and the First Lady of the United States:

One year ago we started down a new pa- oh, and my fellow Amuslicans. One year ago we started down a new path: one of hope and of change. We have come a long way, the light is at the end of the tunnel, yes we can, we will win.

(short applause from Pelosi and Biden)

Thank you. Thank you. Today some are suggesting that our efforts are not working, but I want to be perfectly clear – they are.

Unemployment may be up, but hope is high. This administration’s approval ratings may be low right now, but so are copper prices. What does all this mean? It means our economy has never looked better. And with me in the White House the hope is going to change all of this into a more stable and viable national agenda capitalizing on helping Americans and immigrants create a better tomorrow for the future of children...

(confused silence)

We are going to fix all of this over the next year and here is how I am going to do it:

(applause)

I’m putting a freeze on all domestic spending for the next three years. The deficit is at an all time high due to an unprecedented and reckless amount of spending, and we must put a stop to it. For too long Washington has been throwing money around as if it were just that *snap* easy to print, and those who are responsible must be held accountable. My staff and I will be going over George Bush’s economic record right down to his personal checkbook to find out where all this money has gone.

If Americans are going to be on top again we must fix the education system. To that end I am calling for a 6% increase in Education spending domestically. This will create much needed jobs at both the teaching and administration levels, and represent a huge increase in government education contracts. I am also introducing a brand new idea that I came up with… well, me and the Democratic members of congress that are up for re-election this year – they helped me on it, so remember that. Anyway, we’re going to start Charter Schools all over the country. This will introduce competition in education, just like in business.

And speaking of business, some CEOs seem to be under the impression that I am against big business. I want to be perfectly clear on this: nothing could be further from the truth.

JOE WILSON: You lie!

(loud murmur and applause from all but Pelosi and Biden)

BARACK OBAMA: The caps on CEO wages that I am endorsing are for your own good. With that your compensation is tied to stock market value through stock bonuses and buy-backs, rather than the long term value of the company and its product. This way the economy turns around faster on paper and you get a bigger piece of the pie through Wall Street manipulation. Good for you. Good for stockholders. Good for my administration. Good for everybody.

During this time of economic hardship it seems that prices on commodities are rising without any logical reason. Oil fluctuates daily though the supply and refining capacities remain either constant or on the rise. This is due to the health care situation in this country. I want congress to buckle down and get something passed before Novemb- uh, before we lose the momentum needed to bring about what all of the Americans who can’t afford it want.

As you all know, recently the Supreme Court ruled that corporations and other far right interest groups will be able to make movies that send messages to the voters. This decision could very well be used to try to discredit the health care reform that we are working so hard on, or our initiatives to reign in out of control business in America. That is why I am taking steps to dampen the effect of this ruling against the American voice. I am appointing Michael Moore as the Czar of Media Messaging.

Finally, some in the media have suggested that I did not respond adequately to the attempted bombing of a Detroit-bound commercial airliner in December. I want to be clear on this: nothing could be further from the truth. And I really don’t think these hate-mongers represent the best of America. To show just how wrong they are I am announcing a new initiative to battle terrorism.

Thanks to some family ties on my father’s side, we will be taking over all administrative duties of Al-Qaeda starting immediately. This will be a three-pronged approach. First, we have determined that Al-Qaeda Afghanistan, where we have made great strides militarily, is just too big to fail. So, starting now we will be funneling monies from the pirates in Somalia and terrorist cells in other parts of the Middle East and redistributing it to those in the hills of Afghanistan. We call this the Terrorist Activity Realignment Plan. This will keep a concentration of terrorists in Afghanistan, thus giving the US military a more manageable area of operations where they can continue to keep their performance numbers up.

Second, we are going to offer all terrorists employment through their local governments. These jobs will include everything from repairing road surfaces damaged through wars and years of neglect, to damaging road surfaces to ensure continued employment. These will be stable, government jobs. It is time to get them off the battlefield and onto the public payroll.

And finally, in order to win the terrorists loyalty and divert their attention away from the fact that we are trying to destroy their way of life and turn their nations into the picture we have in our minds, we are going to offer them universal healthcare. We will be able to raise the money for this by taxing their income – from those government jobs we are setting up – at a 50 to 60 % rate. Actually, I really don’t know how much it will be – we’ll figure that out after the fact. But no matter what it will buy their loyalty and bankrupt their operations.

PELOSI: Uh, Mr. President… doesn’t that seem a bit far-fetched? I mean, they’ll never go for it.

BARACK OBAMA: You’d be surprised, Nancy. You'd be surprised.

(room fills with maniacal laughter)

PEARL HARBORING TERRORISTS?

It's busy day for us here in the Land of the (soon to be not-so) Free. It's December 7th, and that can mean only one thing here in the U.S. of A.:

Today we recognize the vital importance of the men and women of our armed forces by arraigning four members of our most elite fighting force on charges of punching a known and successful terrorist scumbucket.

I know there are allegations of falsifying reports and impeding investigations and etc...  But for God's sake!  Am I the only one that can see the big picture here?  Am I the only one that sees the damage that will be done by prosecuting Navy SEALs in front of the entire world in deference to a godless sociopath!!??  What are we going to do next, start bowing before other national leaders?

Did Matthew McCabe punch this guy?  I don't know, and I don't really care.  Did he cover the fact up with the help of his buddies?  I don't know, but realize the military must find out.  But I also know that if they did collude in covering it up they did so in reaction to the mamby-pamby, social-experimenting, equal opportunity, progressive state the U.S. Military is in today!  Which is what has landed it in The Pansy Corner in the first place!

Here's the test on this case: WWPS?

Who Would Patton Slap?  Would George S. Patton, Jr. (can anyone argue against his effectiveness and understanding of war?) slap these Navy SEALs or would he slap Robert Gates and anyone else not coming to their defense and putting an end to this circus?

WWPS?

"Back from 'who ate us'?" "No, hiatus."

OBAMA'S WAR

President Barack Obama's long anticipated "Afghaniplan" is scheduled to be announced this very evening, with a troop increase of 30-35,000 expected, which is a tad less than the 140,000 his commanding General recommended for success. Our little candidate is growing up. It seems like just yesterday he was saying things like, "I don't oppose all wars. What I am opposed to is a dumb war."  Of course, that quote was directed toward the War in Iraq. 

After eight years there, Afghanistan is clearly a different story... just ask the Russians. But fear not: Obama is not growing weary, even if his party is. He plans for U.S. troops to be there for at least three more years, beating the Soviets by a year and a half. He states that we will not leave before the job is done. By the way: does anyone know what the job is?

Due to its mountainous terrain (among other factors) there has never been an effective, centralized government in Afghanistan, with the possible exception of the East India Company. The area is nothing more than a barren pile of minerals, a line of demarcation between warring ethnic factions. If Obama really thinks Bin Laden is still hiding in the hills there, don't send more U.S. soldiers into harm's way to look for him; send mining companies. Within a few years of strip mining, there won't be anywhere left for the b*stard to hide.

SEALing THEIR FATE

Four U.S. SEALs have been accused of the mistreatment of another poor Islamic prisoner, one Ahmed Hashim Abed. This fella claims he was punched in the mouth during his detainment by the members of SEAL Team 10. One of the soldiers, Matthew McCabe, has been charged with assault. You probably have never heard of McCabe, but you might remember Abed from a 2004 incident during which four U.S. contractors were murdered, burned, dragged, and hung from a bridge over the Euphrates River under his orders. The SEALs have given our mamby-pamby, Obama-era military the finger and demanded Courts-Martial (facing criminal charges and possible jail time) rather than administrative discipline.  And get this: they are to be arraigned on DECEMBER 7th! Good for them for standing up! If these SEALs don't win their case against the Obama Administration's witness - fellow Muslim Ahmed Hashim Abed, we all need to march to Washington and defend the men at home who are defending us abroad!  And I mean march armed to the teeth.  ENOUGH IS ENOUGH!

This despicable treatment of our soldiers comes from the post-Abu Ghraib, we're so sorry for being Americans attitude that has only intensified under the current administration. ('W'-ers out there rest assured that the previous administration was guilty of this, too - just to a lesser extent.) Don't humiliate the enemy, they tell us. You will just make them angrier. Don't humiliate them? You mean like this?

This administration tells us we no longer can waterboard because it is cruel and inhumane.  Besides, they tell us, it is not an effective way to get information and could suggest to people we are not compassionate.  You mean like this?

I'm going to address waterboarding for just a moment. I saw Mancow do a little bit on it. He apparently (I don't listen to his show) was a big fan of it until he tried it himself in-studio:

So Mancow admits that waterboarding is torture.  Well, he forgot to ask these 4 questions:

1. Yeah?
2. And?
3. So?
4. What?*

Why in the Hell would I care? Is waterboarding torture? Possibly. I don't really know the definition. I can tell you this: Waterboarding by no means looks like a pleasant experience. In fact, it is so bad that it is probably among the top 5 reasons that I'm not a scumbag, Hell-bound, militant, Islamic terrorist today. I say the only way you do waterboarding wrong is if the piece of garbage terrorist gets up afterward. It is my understanding that we actually only waterboarded one individual (a bunch of times, grant you) and it worked... remarkably well. It worked so well that we only had to threaten one other individual with it before he started singing about terrorist cells and info. If waterboarding some Muslim dink saves just one person from a fate like this...

...bring me an ironing board and a pitcher of water! I have compassion. It makes me passionate. And maybe it makes a SEAL passionate from time to time.

To all other SEALs out there: In the future, you take the future "Objective Ambers" out there, cut off their toes or noses or whatever to get information - or not - then put a bullet in their head... followed by another. We need you protecting us, not wasting your time in disciplinary hearings or Courts-Martial. Oh, and "Thank You" to all of you from all of us.

*And thanks to Bill Hicks for not objecting to me stealing from his joke.


HIGHER A-SPIRE-ATIONS

Remember the Chicago Spire? This massive, 2000-feet high skyscraper was to be the third tallest building in the world, and tallest residential structure ever. The project's financing collapsed with the current economic downturn, with little hope of it ever becoming a reality. Until now...

The AFL-CIO is now looking at raising more than $100 million to get the project going. Why? Because some of their union members are facing 30% unemployment rates. This project would provide over one million man-hours of labor at a time when it is greatly needed. The work, that is, if not the building.

At a time when people are losing their homes because they are overextended, is it wise to build a luxury residential high-rise, a monument to fiscal irresponsibility?  A Cortlandt Homes Project for the 2000's?  I think not, so I have a better suggestion. Why not build a wall like we have been talking about in this country for the last ten years?

This will be something practical, something useful, something with purpose.  It will get these union guys working again... they will like that. It will protect the citizens of this country from a horrible enemy. And it will help insure the economic integrity of the U.S. for generations to come.

I'm not talking about a wall to keep gardeners and meat packers south of the boarder.  And I'm not talking about a wall to keep emergency room visitors and weekend gamblers to the north.  I'm talking about a massive wall, some 50 feet high, made of concrete, steal, and whatever else that can be scrounged, impervious to human efforts to blast through, cross over, or tunnel under, email and phone signal-proof, sealed, and left forever. Something that will make the Great Wall of China look like a Christo and Jeanne-Claude installation.  I'm talking about building a wall around Washington, D.C.

Now, that's construction that would help this country.

KEEP AN OPEN MIND...

13 Dead

30 Wounded

Major Nidal Malik Hasan in custody

Over the next few days or weeks you will hear and read much about soldier-on-soldier violence. These events are not so isolated as the American public is led to believe. The stress of redeployments is pushing soldiers over the edge. The strain on members of the military is reaching a critical mass. Just how big a problem is ethnic harrassment in the U.S. military? Yes, all of this and more will be bandied about in the media.

What you are unlikely to hear, at least outside the "right wing nut" arena, is that any and every soldier that is a member of Islam, converted to Islam, or professes to be associated with Islam should be immediately and permanently removed from the ranks of the military. No excuses. No questions asked. No hesitation. Any soldier who suspects another should turn him or her in.

This may very well raise a lump of prejudice and/or injustice in your throat. It's okay. You've been conditioned to react that way. It is time that military leadership, though, cough up those lumps and concentrate on security and warfare. One step that needs to be taken is getting Islam out of our military... the military that is fighting a war against Islam.

Since 9/11 we have all heard officials tell us that this is not a religious war. We all have known that that is bunk. Whether or not this country wants to admit it, Islam is at war with anyone and everyone that does not embrace Islam. Don't just take my word for it: look around at the statements coming from the Muslim community each time something like this happens. They are always generic, generalized, and never quite say, "This Voilent Act was Bad and WE Renounce it in the name of ISLAM." Read them.

Let's look at it another way. If a man went into a town square, let's say Mecca, and blew himself and 40 mothers and children to pieces in the name of Christ, would you hesitate to declare it an evil act and that it had nothing to do with you, Christ, or Christianity? I can renounce The Great Crusades at any time and often have. A dark period in our history, but it was not the result of the belief of most Christians and certainly not under the directive of Christ. Islam is a religion of war and killing, a religion in which the only assured salvation is through killing for Muhammad, the warrior-founder who was not sure of his own salvation. As for salvation through Christ: follow Me and love one another.

Is it a war in which we demand Muslims to convert to Christianity? No. We just don't intend to let them kill all of us for not being Muslim. And if we are to fight them successfully, we need to eliminate them from our ranks, just like any other enemy. Would you go to war against Canada with a bunch of Canadians in your army? Of course not!

Don't worry about soldier morale: we do the same thing with spies. Ruskies don't show up in leather trench coats and eye patches. Soldiers have to be weary of them on or off base. Why? Because they are the enemy and will do anything to infiltrate our forces and damage our ability to defeat them. Is it so unreasonable to recognize that Muslims are willing to do the same? The difference is that a Russian spy may decide to defect on political grounds. A jihadist can only defect through religious conversion... without that, he is still a warrior for Muhammad.

One of the primary principles of warfare is to understand your enemy's objectives and motivation. The U.S. has had a poor track record of doing this. We tend to superimpose Western ideals and our own objectives over the tops of those of our enemy's. We did it with the American Natives, but our numbers and technology made up for it. We did it with the North Vietnamese to terrible consequence. Those are just two of many examples. Can we afford to keep adding to the list? We need to eliminate from our ranks those that are sympathetic to, or outright members of, our enemy's cause.

This isn't a matter of individual rights, freedoms, or feelings. Soldiers sacrifice their claims to those when they join the military... any military. It is the nature of the beast. Out of a sense of gratitude, shouldn't we demand policy that helps protect our soldiers from our enemies?

So, keep an open mind, America... but not so open that your brains fall out.

CHOICES: Mice or Men

I do not believe in fate that falls on men however they act; but I do believe in fate that falls on them unless they act. - GK Chesterton

The other day I sat down in a local eatery for what promised to be a pleasant lunch of enchiladas, refried beans, and rice. I was dining alone at my table due to several factors, including the fact that I have no friends. There were several other occupied tables in the restaurant: two pairs of women, an assortment of men, a couple in their 60's, and a young fella of undetermined age. This last was actually sitting with his back to me at the adjoining booth. I noted he had long, stringy hair, was wearing a "Louisiana" hat indoors and at the table, and was listening to an iPod or some such device.

Shortly after my food arrived his phone rang. This fella proceeded to talk on the phone while eating. And he talked loudly, his hearing no doubt affected by the earbud still plugged into the hole on the other side of his head. Now, this combination of behaviors was enough to annoy me, but I'm a live-and-let-live type of guy. But then the language turned south. At first it was just an a-s here, or a sh*t there, but then it rapidly escalated. F-bombs were being dropped at a rate that would make The Dude blush, hurled across the room at unsuspecting diners, propelled by this Bayou Bum's awesome level of tactlessness.

I watched the wait staff: perhaps out of fear of a tipless reprisal, or because of a tenuous grasp of English profanity, they did nothing to stop him. I watched the man eating with his wife: he was in his 60's but a pretty large guy. He did nothing but look offended for his wife. I didn't look to the other men in the room to do anything because I was as capable as they; my pause was out of deference to the wait staff and the man dining with his wife. Having heard more than I'd wanted I got up and walked over to the public offender, interrupted his phone call, and said, "Hey, there are ladies present in this room... would you cut out the profanity." While technically a question, the intonation made it clear this was a command. He understood, apologized, and cleaned up his act (the language, anyway... I doubt the hair had been cleaned in days).

Why do I tell you this? To look like the hero? No. I most certainly wasn't a hero; I merely requested that another guy show some respect to the women in the room. I wasn't looking to get into a fight either. I'm at the age where I don't even want to fight. It's not that I can't or won't. I've won and lost many in my life. I've forcefully taken swinging bats away from people. I've gotten into a fight (flanked by my brother and former brother-in-law) against 30 people... while dressed up as an M&M (the green one, right Philip?). I've bloodied and been bloodied. Fun and games back in the day. Recently, though, I had an experience that convinced me those days are gone.

Earlier this year, as I did some ring mastering for mixed martial arts fights, I realized just what is walking the streets out there. It wasn't that these fighters were any stronger or tougher than me. I don't even think most of them were that much better at fighting. But what I came to accept is that there are a heckuva lot of people out there who care far less about their own bodies than I care about mine. These guys were getting the fluids beat out of them for a chance to win less than I was making just talking. Of course, those guys are young and can heal while I'm at the age that blowing my nose wrong could result in a stress fracture.

Anyway, back to the restaurant. What astounded me was that not one other man in the restaurant - not even the employees - would do anything about this guy's behavior. I felt a stunned silence fall over the dining room as I confronted the foul-mouthed magpie. Why? Is it that shocking when a man stands up and does what a man should do? Evidently - and sadly - it is: the magpie did as instructed. I certainly didn't mind doing it, but why did the other men refuse? Especially the employees whose job it is to provide a pleasant atmosphere for their customers?

I experienced a similar incident when I was working at McDonald's back in college. A woman and her teenaged daughter came in, followed by two rather drunk 20-something nothings. One of the two drunk men stood right behind (no more than an inch between them) the teenaged girl and proceeded to make lewd comments about her to his friend. The woman and her daughter were scared to death, as evidenced by the looks on their faces. I came out from behind the griddle and informed these two dunderheads that they were going to apologize to the young lady and then leave, thus avoiding a very embarrassing beating in a fast food restaurant. (I was not bluffing as it would not be the first time I'd fought in a restaurant... or even the second. I was a bit wild in those days.) Short story long, they apologized, the two women shot out of the restaurant, and the two drunks wandered out, figuring I meant what I had said and could back it up.

The manager then pulled me to the back, told me to go home, and informed me that I would likely be fired unless I apologized to the drunks. I put the likelihood of that happening in terms of snowballs in hell and his growing of huevos. Alas, my job was spared on my way out when both mother and daughter ran into the restaurant, wrapped their arms around me, and thanked me profusely for standing up for them when no one else (including said manager) would.

Again, I don't bring this up to claim to be a hero. In both incidents I merely did what any man should, so it has nothing to do with self-aggrandizement. And this piece isn't about the deplorable state of American eateries, their employees, or patrons. My whole point is that we have become such a feminized society that men don't stand up in the face of even the simplest of circumstances. Could there have been trouble from the swearing TexMex customer? Unlikely. The two fast food drunks? More likely, but they were both drunk and I was young, sober, and disaffected. I'm sure you see these failures every day: Men ignoring rude behavior. Doors closed in women's faces. Thank you's going unsaid. These are but little issues of civility, yet we as men seemingly can't stand up and demand them. What does that mean for the future?

We needn't wait for the future - the results are all around us. We have a government that is spending us into a $12 trillion national debt that our kids and grandkids will have to pay. While between several thousand and several million (depending upon your news source) people marched on Washington, DC in opposition to this, it's still just an empty gesture. The current administration knows all about symbolic actions, empty gestures, and escalated threats. They mean nothing; therefore, they garner no respect from those in charge. At some point someone must stand up, say, "Enough is enough," and do something about it. Aren't you glad George Washington did? What if he'd said to himself, "Well, it all might cause an ugly scene?"

This manless state of ours is resulting in far worse and immediate dangers for us. Take the current situation with Iran. For quite some time the Iranians have refused to allow international inspectors to examine their uranium enrichment program in order to evaluate whether the rogue state is trying develop nuclear energy capabilities or nuclear weapons. There have been clandestine programs put in place by the Israelis and the U.S. to sabotage Iranian enrichment efforts, but none have been given the green light to act. It is likely the U.S. program has been dismantled, though I have no substantiated information either way (please feel free to comment). On September 20 of this year, Iranian President Mahmoud "Members Only" Ahmadinejad stated that U.S. officials know they are wrong about claims that Iran is seeking to develop nuclear weapons, while Ayatollah Ali Khamenei expounded by saying:

The U.S. officials who talk about Iranian missiles and their danger while saying Iran intends to build a nuclear bomb, they know these words are wrong.

Our response was to invite Iran to "dialogue" about its nuclear program. Five days later Iran revealed the existence of a secret underground uranium enrichment plant near Qom. This time the Western world's words were tougher. At the G-20 Barack Obama himself pointed out that "Iran is breaking rules that all nations must follow." England and France joined the U.S. in demanding Iran disclose its nuclear ambitions "or be held accountable" to an impatient world community. Just three days later, in what was a surprise to these same leaders, Iran announced the testing of a missile that could reach any perceived threat to Iran, including Israel, parts of Europe, and U.S. military bases in the Middle East. The U.S. reaction has been a sort of stunned silence.

Quite frankly, I'm surprised the empty gestures and hollow threats haven't been more numerous, given that it was just last month that the Russian cargo ship Arctic Sea went on its bizarre tour of the terrorist world, likely delivering nuclear and/or missile materials to Iran. Of course, this policy of downplaying the importance of keeping nuclear technology out of the hands of dangerous, fanatical extremists is quite consistent with how the administration has dealt with North Korea.

If I had asked you a year ago to name the two most dangerous and downright unstable national leaders in the world, what percentage of you would have replied with Kim Jong-il and Mahmoud Ahmadinejad? Well, guess what? These two mad men now (or very soon will) have nuclear material and viable ways to deliver them across a wide arc... unless we do something right now.

But then, if we as men can't stand up to a four-letter word like F*CK, how are we ever to face one like NUKE?

Welcome to America, Muommar

Dearest Momar:

It is with great regret but a hearty ‘Howdy-ho’ that I write you. I recently read about your upcoming trip to address the U.N. General Assembly and the reluctance of some people in Englewood, New Jersey to welcome you into their community. This is appalling and I offer to you a most heartfelt apology. The people of New Jersey do not represent the rest of us and, I suspect, do not have a very strong grasp on what it means to be a real American.

I really don’t understand their hostility in this, the 21st Century, a time for healing, forgiveness, reconciliation, and unprecedented appeasement. It seems some folks just won’t let go of the past. Sure our two nations have had their disagreements in the past, “misunderstandings” we’ll call them. I’m sure you well remember that official visit to your country that Ronald Reagan approved back in April 1986: the French sure do. But let’s not allow the past to interfere with international relations. That is why I am most cordially inviting you to stay with us here in North Alabama. I think you will find southerners quite hospitable.

In light of the fact that you were so accommodating during that last flyover tour by our Air Force and Navy aircraft, my neighbors down the street, the Dewlings, would like to extend an invitation to take a ground tour of their favorite weekend hangout spot. I must warn you, they are quite the off-roaders, so bring something to wear that you don’t mind getting a little dirty.

And while you’re here, Butch McIntyre, who lives on the other side of my place, would like to take you to one of his reenactments, in order for you to learn a little more about our Southern heritage and culture. He and his two boys are quite active in their organization, and his family especially can show you how different cultures melded together to create a vibrant history for the South. As luck would have it several of his relatives from overseas – Scotland, I think – will be visiting during your stay. I’m sure they will be more than excited to see you here.

Now, I realize that as a Sunni follower of Islam you may be concerned that the prevalence and resoluteness of the huge population of Southern Baptists here in the South may give rise to conflict during your stay: nothing could be further from the truth. We are all brothers on this plantet Earth, connected by a higher spirit. The old man that runs the service station out on the county line – I have to admit I don’t even know his name – heard our President when he announced in Turkey that “we do not consider ourselves a Christian nation.” He told me that he would love to have you as his personal guest at his next men’s club meeting. They regularly burn crosses just to emphasize the fact that we are no longer a Christian nation. You may find it quite enlightening.

Finally, I’d love to have you out at our place. This will allow you to see first hand how a simple, rural citizen of the United States lives. There are many things we can do out on the farm. And don’t worry: we can stay up as late as we want and make all the noise we care to make. I live so far out in the country that I assure you – no one will hear a thing. I’m really looking forward to your visit.

Sincerely,
Dermot Jitney

PS: There’s plenty of room and grub – be sure to bring a friend.

DEAR WORLD: We’re sorry