A Burning Sensation

The first thing they teach you in journalism school is to keep your pen as light as a feather when covering touchy subjects such as freedom of religion. There is nothing in the world, they tell students, that will fill an editor's inbox faster than the suggestion that religion is passé or one is better than another. And if you are writing about Islam, get ready to lose a cartoonist or two before the death threats and bombings subside.

Fortunately, I majored in management with a ridiculously strong emphasis on military history, so screw the terrorist Muslim scum. I'll speak my mind, thank you very much.

Now, I want to be perfectly clear on this: I believe in and fully support the principal in this country that the government should never interfere with a people's desire to gather for religious ceremony. I also believe those religious orders have no business trying to strong-arm the government and trample on individual rights. And I also believe that Islam is not a religion, but rather a blood-thirsty evil Cult of Death, Fear, and Hatred. Is that clear enough?

You may have read this week about a Reverend Terry Jones down in Florida who was planning to burn several hundred copies of the Qur'an on Saturday to mark the 9th anniversary of Islam's Attack on the World Economy (failure) and Sensibility (success). This has caused no small number of significant public figures to bemoan his right to do so while imploring him to show true Patriotic spirit by cowing down to those who have murdered, are murdering, and will continue to murder Americans in the name of Islam.

I'm not here to defend Terry Jones: I know nothing about him. For all I know he is a Jew-hating psychopathic religionist who embezzles money from gullible non-thinkers through the false guarantee of divine deliverance. And I have no intention of defending his right to burn a book, because I just can't really get behind book burnings myself - unless it's really cold out and the book is really pointless, like the Qur'an. No, I'm here to talk about the outpouring of support for those that would have us all dead.

Let's start with General David Betrayus. He has claimed that the act of burning these Qur'ans would put American soldiers in harm's way. I don't want to speak for any soldiers but I don't see that not burning Qur'ans has kept them out of harm's way, General. Do you honestly think that bowing down to our enemies all over the world and allowing them to build victory mosques on battlefields is a way to strengthen our soldiers' defense? I'll tell you what puts soldiers in harm's way, Dave: putting an automatic weapon into the hands of a 19-year old Ohio farm boy, sending him to a violence-plagued cesspool that has never had a sustainable central government - not even under the iron fist of the Soviet Union, putting in place restrictive policies, and demanding that he be an ambassador of the United States to the very people trying to kill him! Quit expecting him to do your worthless Secretary of State's job! His is hard enough:

"Johnny! Remember what we did when the wild hogs were threatening the crops? Do the same thing to the Muslims, boy, then get back home!"

Do you remember when a political soldier was someone like Omar N. Bradley (The G.I.'s General, our last 5-Star General, and by God one helluva fine American who knew what it was all about - taking care of his boys)?

"George, you know we need to kick their asses and I know we need to kick their asses... but you can't say to Congress, 'We're going to kick their asses.' You've got to be delicate when talking to Washington. Now, let's go kick their asses!"

That was it. That was as far as politics got into a real soldier. But with Colin Powell all the rules changed. They started wanting to be political advisers. Started thinking they should be handling policy. Generals who wanted to shape international diplomacy. No! Go kill, break, and suppress. Protect your soldiers through aggressive maneuvering and attacks. When your forces sit still - literally or figuratively - the danger they are exposed to increases exponentially!

[Please don't write in and defend McCrystal, either. By his own admission he voted for Barack Obama, a Muslim. That would be like Ike voting for Joe Kennedy. And if that weren't bad enough, his favorite beer is Bud Lime. Dude... Bud Lime? Tough, soldierboy. Real tough.]

And speaking of our Supreme Muslim Leader, Barack Obama has decided to weigh in on the issue with... look, is there even any point in covering what you all knew would happen? Hope & change, hope & change.

The last one I want to cover is the response from Imam Feisal Abdul Rauf, the guy pushing for the mosque to be built near Ground Zero. Terry Jones has postponed the Dove World Outreach Center's Qur'an Burning and Covered Dish Supper pending the relocation of the proposed mosque to be called Cordoba. Again, I don't want to speak for anyone, so I will let the Imam speak for himself via this article from ABC News:

"My life has been dedicated to peacemaking... If I knew this would happen, that this would cause this kind of pain, I wouldn't have done it."

But, he explains, he must build the mosque at the original site in order to defend us against "danger from the radicals in the Muslim world to our national security."

"We have freedom of speech, but with freedom comes responsibility. ... This is dangerous for our national security, but also it is the un-Christian thing to do."

"I am glad that Pastor Jones has decided not to burn any Korans... However, I have not spoken with Pastor Jones or Imam Musri [a Florida imam purported to have acted as a go-between]. I am surprised by their announcement. We are not going to toy with our religion or any other. Nor are we here to barter. We are here to extend our hand to build peace and harmony."

"I'm less concerned about the radicals in America (anyone against the building of the mosque) than the radicals in the Muslim world."

"Our national security now hinges on how we negotiate this."

Who negotiates what? Is this Muslim really telling us what would be Christian? Peacemaking? Does this remind anyone else of that Mel Brooks song?

I don't want war! All I want is peace... peace... peace!

A little piece of Poland,

A little piece of France,

A little piece of Austria

And Hungary, perchance!

A littel slice of Turkey

And all that that entails,

And then a bit of England, Scotland, Ireland, and Wales!

Are there any questions about what this mosque represents? About what Islam's opinion of America is? About how we should proceed? Still not sure whether or not we are in a religious war against Islam? Are you sitting on the fence? Are you a Muslim?

If you are a Muslim, the last thing in the world I'd want to do is convert you into my belief system. You'd probably just screw it up and give it a bad name anyway. But I will ask you to go through the same process I put myself through: look closely at and study objectively all of the beliefs put into your head by others. Ask yourself: Does my religion truly represent who I am as a person?

In my case I had to throw some supposed tenats of my religion out. Some were just things that many who claimed to be like me felt. Others were dead wrong. And still others are tightly held beliefs of the church, but I just can't buy into them. Don't worry - God and I have discussed these issues in depth and we're okay with it. At least, I am. He has the perogative to disagree with me in the end. But for now, I have to live with myself.

As a Muslim you don't have to ask yourself things like:

• Is drinking an alcoholic beverage in moderation really evil?
• Do I need to stay pissed at the Jews forever?
• Do the Romans share any blame for the death of my Savior?
• Does prophecy render all of those feelings moot anyway?

But you might want to ask yourself things like:

• Do I really believe burning people alive is a God-ly activity? [WARNING: That link is VERY graphic - I made myself watch it and several others on the site, but they absolutely made me physically ill. If it doesn't make you ill, you might be a Muslim - scumbag. And if it doesn't make you angry, you are not human.]
• Should women really be beaten on a regular basis?
• If my children go through a rebellious stage does murdering them make me a better parent?

Again, I'm not telling you how to live your pathetic, evil life... I'm just suggesting an alternative to death and hatred.

In the meantime, The Western World needs to stop Muslims from building victory monuments and financial centers in this country or any other, eliminate their training grounds, and beat them into submission... or extinction - whichever is required for survival.

I know this has been an uncharacteristically heavy posting for me, but it's hard to take this subject matter lightly. Still, I am a professional who is committed to his audience. So, in deference to Jeff Foxworthy, I give you the following:

How to tell if your religion is really a blood-thirsty cult:

If when you proclaim "God is great" people react with fear, you may be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If your spiritual leader beats women and married children, you may be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If the only guaranteed passage to paradise is by murdering someone in the name of your god, you just might be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you've ever flown an airplane full of innocent people into a building full of innocent people to demonstrate your faith in God, you perhaps should consider the possibility that you just might be part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you've ever cheered at news that a small boy has blown himself and 30 or 40 market goers to pieces, and yet are outraged when someone 8500 miles away threatens to burn a book printed, sold, and purchased 8500 miles away, I'm pretty sure you are part of a blood-thirsty cult.

If you hate South Park... you're just kind of stupid and take yourself way too seriously.

And finally, if you are a Muslim, you are part of a blood-thirsty cult. May you be buried face down under a dog, and may Hitler and Jeffery Dahmer play marbles with your... well, I wouldn't want to offend anyone.

GOD BLESS THE SOLDIER - THANK YOU!

-FOR ALL THAT YOU ARE, AND ALL THAT YOU DO-