THE PANSY CORNER

Congratulations to the Christina (Delaware) School Board, which has been backed into The Pansy Corner this week by a student who was on his way to a 45-day suspension to the alternative school but for a last minute reprieve.

Here's what happened: In the quiet, early morning hours of September 29th, Zachary Christie got off his school bus wielding a knife. A teacher asked him what he had in his hand and he brandished the weapon, claiming he was going to use it to eat his lunch. Acting swiftly before literally dozens of students could be stabbed to death, the teacher turned the knife over to the school principal, who decisively suspended Christie for 45-days, pending a school board hearing. A tragedy, much like the one at Columbine, was once again narrowly avoided by the quick thinking of an alert teacher and a school district's zero tolerance policy.

By October 12th it became clear to members of the school board that not only was Zachary Christie a 1st grader, he was also a new and proud Cub Scout, which is why he brought the spoon-fork-knife utensil to school. Additionally, he was active in school, participating in the talent show, excelling in math and reading, and winning first place in a statewide art contest. Further complicating the school's case was the fact that both of Christie's parents and his step-father are active in the school. His mother is co-President of the PTA and homeroom mother for Zachary's class. And, as it turns out, quite adept at creating websites, like this one.

On October 13th the school board decided to give Zachary another chance in his school. To get around the zero-tolerance regulations, the members unanimously voted to reduce the punishment for kindergartners and 1st graders who carry weapons to school or commit violent acts to a suspension of 3 to 5 days, wisely continuing to protect students and faculty from homicidal 2nd graders.

If you follow the link above you will see that there was a bittersweet ending to this situation. While Zachary is back in school, his parents are concerned that other students may be swept up in similar hysteria, and for good reason. This school board made The Pansy Corner for exactly how they handled this situation. I'm not going into the argument about zero-tolerance here (it is a long debate... at least on the side of common sense). What I want to point out is that these chicken-livered administrators were helpless to make a decision without changing a ridiculous rule. Why not stand up and say:

It is clear that this rule is not set in place for a student of this caliber or a situation like this. Zachary Christie will return to class, his record will be cleared of this incident, and the principal will report to my office for a paddling.

Why? The bottom line is that the school board is scared. All of them across the country are. And no matter what Michael Moore might say, it has nothing to do with safety. It's all about security - job security. The policies put in place since Columbine have done little to nothing to protect children in MOST school districts. (There are some school districts that ought to hand out straight jackets at the door, but that's for another post... on another blog.) These intrusive policies have gone a long way to teaching your children there is no such thing as a right to privacy or personal property, even to the extent of having the school dole out medication. (Gee, I wonder how future generations will vote on health care reform?) But they have increased job security for school administrators.

Zero tolerance means no discretioin at the local level. No discretion means no decisions. No decisions means no responsibility. No responsibility means no accountability. No accountability means no need to evolve into a rational, reasoning, vertebrate. And that's exactly what we have filling the offices and teachers' lounges of our schools: mindless, spineless bureaucrats.

In this case the fear was not that Zachary Christie would attack another student, but that some child might get hurt. A cut. A poke. An abrasion. Bruised feelings. And what happens then? No one wanted to say it, every single administrator associated with this case avoided it, and in story after story of this ilk across the country you won't find it mentioned: LAWSUIT. The easy way to face it is by burying one's head in the rules.

Lawsuits, all across the land, have scared these people into inaction. Zachary's mother got 29,000 signatures of support, which left the school board little choice but to let him off. But they did it in the most spineless way possible. It was truly the least they could do. Why not take the momentum of the signatures and use them to fight back against lawsuits and ridiculous policies? CHARGE!!!!!

Why indeed. Look, I'd love to blame all this on the lawyers. The civil legal system exists so that rational parties who disagree over an issue have access to an impartial resolution. Attorneys are a vital part of the process of making sure justice is served and injured parties are properly and reasonably compensated. The truth is that some lawyers step way outside this role and go looking for any excuse to sue or extort money from someone... anyone. But I'm afraid - and this pains me to say - that lawyers are not the whole problem here...

How many of you nodded your head when I damned the lawyers?

How many of you would be reaching for the yellow pages the second your child broke an arm jumping off the monkey bars at school? Payday, right?

Congratulations, Zachary. I wish you the best in your future educational experiences.