For Whom The Belles Towed

The whole family loaded up this weekend and went to the Heritage Festival/Car Show that I had alluded to last week. The Roberts adventure is now complete and, in an attempt to wipe if from my memory, I'm going to give you a brief synopsis.

As you know I am from the South, so we were prepared for anything at the Heritage Festival. Down in these parts that phrase can mean a good excuse to wear your sheets outside the bedroom. Fortunately, that was not to be in this case, though several members of the Daughters of the Confederacy made a showing in their beautiful dresses. Now, you may be thinking this would be a good time to include a photograph, and you'd be right. The wife and I both took cameras with every intention of using them, but the weather did not cooperate. It dropped from the low 60s all the way down to the mid-50s while we were there.

I know this may not seem like much to those of you from the yonder side of the Mason-Dixon, but for we southern folk, anything north of I-40 or south of 60° is unacceptable. For that reason we didn't take any photos; I didn't get the camera out of the bag or my hands out of my pockets. Let's just say that if the world was dependent upon me to bring it photographic proof of the snow leopard, the world would have to rely on legend and campfire tales.

As it turned out heritage, as it was used in the flyers for this event, meant "rural artists selling crap made of driftwood and bird nests." I got only a cursory view of these booths, but I feel confident in saying there were no lost photo ops (unless you like looking at license plate figurines). We ducked into a diner to have a burger and drink, but instead spent an hour waiting for a burger and drink. The bad part was that it took so long, but the bad part was that their supplier was the same one my elementary school cafateria used... possibly food from the same era.

No Southern Heritage Festival would be complete without a car show, and this one was no disappointment! There were cars from the 30s to the 00s. Mustangs, T-birds, Chargers, Bel Airs, drag cars, cruisers, and rusto-rods. Everything a motorhead could want. You'd've loved it! Even if you aren't particularly into cars it would have taken you back to a better time in your life! Of course, it was a little chilly, so I don't have any photos to show you. Sorry.

I have to admit that this was the first car show I'd been to in quite some time (the church decided to go with 'Jesus and Guns' for last year's Christmas Pageant), so I was a little unprepared for these newer models. Do you remember the time when you'd look into an engine compartment and see... well... an actual engine? I'm going to give a little visual assistance here:

For me, I can do without all the plastic... I like my engine to look like an engine.

I missed my high school reunion to freeze my cojones at the heritage festival/car show and eat canned chili on top of boxed fries... and it was worth every moment. Still, there must have been a number of you at the reunion hoping to see me so that you could revel in how much better you've done since the last reunion (based upon the air-brushed photos on your Facebook pages), so I will placate you:

Since the last reunion I have put in years of overtime to finally work my way up to vice-president of a company with two employees, I've gotten a divorce, and my dvd player is on the fritz.

Oh, and my engine compartment back in high school...

was way cooler than the one I have now.


See you all at the next reunion/heritage festival!