Income tax time is over for this year. I know this is old news for those of you receiving a refund, but for anyone who owed, it's time for a big sigh of relief... and a strong drink. As we're sitting back lamenting our most recent reaming, I think it's the perfect time to imagine a new way to tax America. To quote a contemporary political savior, it's time for Change... which is all that's left in my pocket.
Something about the distribution of wealth in this country has always bothered me. Sometimes I can’t even sleep at work. I mean it has left me quite upset. It’s the poor: they just aren’t paying their fair share of the tax burden.
Yes! Yes, I know you agree. And of course, you know the numbers. In 2006 the top 1% of earners in this country paid right at 40% of the income tax, while the bottom 50% scraped together enough to cover just the last 3% of the tab. We've all had lunch with one of them at the country club. And what's more, I learned from Hillary Clinton's campaign speeches last fall that some of those - the poorest ones - don't pay any income tax! This has gone on long enough! But I have the solution. Introducing: The Tax Lottery.
After an exhaustive amount of research one afternoon, I discovered the following facts about the poor – they are unlikely to pay taxes and they tend to spend a huge percentage of their income. These two facts contribute highly to the skewed nature of our federal income tax system. So how do we get the poor to step up to the plate and kick in their fair share? My plan is the answer. While in general neither rich nor poor people like to pay taxes, the latter seem to have much less aversion to spending money (which also contributes to their habitual poorness). An analysis of their expenditures reveals that poor people spend their incomes primarily on:
1. Walmart products
2. Cigarettes
3. Bingo
4. Lottery tickets
And not necessarily in that order.
Now, Walmart's not good because that money goes to the Walton family, who are planted firmly at the top of that overburdened 1%. The government has already wisely recognized cigarette sales as a way to get the poor more invested in our country, but unfortunately, not all of them smoke. Bingo halls are filled with far too many old people, and no new tax scheme… uh, plan… will work if the AARP doesn’t like it. That leaves the lottery. Poor people love the lottery. Counting only single-state contests, in 2008 they spent roughly $61 billion on lottery tickets, but only $33 million on income tax. I think you can see the brilliance of my plan already. But wait! There's more.
In any lottery the amount of revenue increases as the prize money rises. To date the largest lottery prize in the U.S. was around $370 million, but that was split between 8 coworkers. Those big jackpots are always won by a bunch of people, so one never enjoys the full bounty. With The Tax Lottery, the winner is always one person, so that one poor person would get the whole kit and caboodle. And the prize money? Just take the budget from some useless government department, like the Department of the Interior (didn’t they already kill all of the Indians?). That one department has an annual budget of $10 billion. That’s a helluva prize. And even if you wanted to “be fair” and take one winner from each state, fifty people would still win $200 million each.
To make all of this possible all we have to do is change one line on the Form 1040 and 1040EZ:
Old: “Would you like to contribute $3 to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund?”
Change: “Would you like to increase your chances of winning $200 million?”
Then leave a blank space ______. The more you put in the more chances you have to win. I would say this alone will do away with those pesky income tax “returns” altogether, and increase the revenue from the Bottom 50% by ten-, twenty-, thirty-fold; the possibilities are limited only by income. Plus, set the winnings on a payment schedule and each tax year 50 poor people will move into the upper half of income earners. Eventually the lottery will have eliminated the bottom 50% altogether and we will then be a country of only rich people. What a wonderful world it will be.
BLOGQUEST: What do you believe is your "fair share" of the tax burden? How should it be paid?
Something about the distribution of wealth in this country has always bothered me. Sometimes I can’t even sleep at work. I mean it has left me quite upset. It’s the poor: they just aren’t paying their fair share of the tax burden.
Yes! Yes, I know you agree. And of course, you know the numbers. In 2006 the top 1% of earners in this country paid right at 40% of the income tax, while the bottom 50% scraped together enough to cover just the last 3% of the tab. We've all had lunch with one of them at the country club. And what's more, I learned from Hillary Clinton's campaign speeches last fall that some of those - the poorest ones - don't pay any income tax! This has gone on long enough! But I have the solution. Introducing: The Tax Lottery.
After an exhaustive amount of research one afternoon, I discovered the following facts about the poor – they are unlikely to pay taxes and they tend to spend a huge percentage of their income. These two facts contribute highly to the skewed nature of our federal income tax system. So how do we get the poor to step up to the plate and kick in their fair share? My plan is the answer. While in general neither rich nor poor people like to pay taxes, the latter seem to have much less aversion to spending money (which also contributes to their habitual poorness). An analysis of their expenditures reveals that poor people spend their incomes primarily on:
1. Walmart products
2. Cigarettes
3. Bingo
4. Lottery tickets
And not necessarily in that order.
Now, Walmart's not good because that money goes to the Walton family, who are planted firmly at the top of that overburdened 1%. The government has already wisely recognized cigarette sales as a way to get the poor more invested in our country, but unfortunately, not all of them smoke. Bingo halls are filled with far too many old people, and no new tax scheme… uh, plan… will work if the AARP doesn’t like it. That leaves the lottery. Poor people love the lottery. Counting only single-state contests, in 2008 they spent roughly $61 billion on lottery tickets, but only $33 million on income tax. I think you can see the brilliance of my plan already. But wait! There's more.
In any lottery the amount of revenue increases as the prize money rises. To date the largest lottery prize in the U.S. was around $370 million, but that was split between 8 coworkers. Those big jackpots are always won by a bunch of people, so one never enjoys the full bounty. With The Tax Lottery, the winner is always one person, so that one poor person would get the whole kit and caboodle. And the prize money? Just take the budget from some useless government department, like the Department of the Interior (didn’t they already kill all of the Indians?). That one department has an annual budget of $10 billion. That’s a helluva prize. And even if you wanted to “be fair” and take one winner from each state, fifty people would still win $200 million each.
To make all of this possible all we have to do is change one line on the Form 1040 and 1040EZ:
Old: “Would you like to contribute $3 to the Presidential Election Campaign Fund?”
Change: “Would you like to increase your chances of winning $200 million?”
Then leave a blank space ______. The more you put in the more chances you have to win. I would say this alone will do away with those pesky income tax “returns” altogether, and increase the revenue from the Bottom 50% by ten-, twenty-, thirty-fold; the possibilities are limited only by income. Plus, set the winnings on a payment schedule and each tax year 50 poor people will move into the upper half of income earners. Eventually the lottery will have eliminated the bottom 50% altogether and we will then be a country of only rich people. What a wonderful world it will be.
BLOGQUEST: What do you believe is your "fair share" of the tax burden? How should it be paid?
