HELTHКAЯE ЯEFORM: The End?

Boy, has the new Health Care Reform Bill that the Democrats passed caused a stir or what? You'd think most of the population is against this thing. Aside from states filing suit against the new Nationalized Health Care System, there have been reports of broken windows, telephoned threats, gas lines severed... even photos of politicians and their children being run in newspapers. Some bloggers have gone so far as to publicly suggest that Washington - and the National "If Canadians like it, it must be Great" Democratic Party in particular - has lost touch with this country.

Now, a rational individual might expect a reaction like this, given the heated debate that has gone on for over a year, the poll results that have leaned consistently to the negative, statements from the President and Congress assuring the citizenry that it really doesn't matter what they think - the Democrats will pass Health Care Reform regardless, and the manner in which it was passed. But we aren't dealing with rational beings: we are dealing with Democrats. These are people who have no concept of how things get accomplished. Their idea is that if you want it bad enough - if you merely wish it... nay, demand it in the name of good intentions, it will just magically happen, be it war, internet access, or medical care. There is no such concept as Cause and Effect in the Democrat's world. This is how the party of slavery, Jim Crow Laws, and segregation has managed to sell itself as 'the party of the people.'

What really makes me sick is the cowardly reaction of these spineless bureaucrats. Ah, you thought perhaps I'd call out some of these folks who have suggested violence is the only answer. No. Now, I'm not advocating violence by any means, but we'll get back to that in just a bit. I have watched a regular rotation of politicians crying on the tube about how they don't feel safe after railroading legislation over the American people. What exactly did you expect after - in the words of your vice-President - you charted "a fundamentally different course for the country"?

[Let me interrupt myself here to state that little gem is difficult to track down. When one searches for a health care victory speech from the New Uncle Joe (FDR fans take note), there are 80 billion returns referencing the "This is a big f***ing deal" remark. Who cares? We know these are people of low moral standards and class. What was missed, ignored, or deemed uninteresting was this, in part:

History -- history is made when you all assembled here today, members of Congress, take charge to change the lives of tens of millions of Americans. Through the efforts of those of us lucky enough to serve here in this town, that's exactly what you've done. You have made history.

History is made when a leader steps up, stays true to his values and charts a fundamentally different course for the country. History is made when a leader's passion -- passion -- is matched with principle, to set a new course.

You can watch it all here.]

These people who know far better what you and I need than we ourselves do have charted a fundamentally new course for this country. Regardless of whether you approve of it or not, they have. They have stepped forward and acted on something they truly believe in. Well, maybe not truly - after all, they are exempt from participation unless Chuck Grassley has his way- but they feel pretty darned strongly about it. Two-hundred and thirty-four years ago members of the Continental Congress charted a fundamentally different course for this country by repudiating their government. This week our government repudiated us, and they were so sure of our subjugation that they are genuinely shocked by the reaction. It's as a shepherd crying out in surprise as the flock tries to run from the slaughter house. "But I want them to move forward!"

Doesn't that sting a little? I'm sure you've gotten an email detailing the horrible demise of the 56 signers of the Declaration of Independence. Whether those stories are true or not, these men did risk it all and plunged the colonies deeper down the course to freedom, and led a bunch of ignorant dirt farmers and tavern owners to fight the concept of the divine right of kings. Today, our representatives to our government are so sure of their unmitigated right to decide for us that they can not believe we would protest through civil disobedience, and haven't the backbone to stand up and take it. The character of this country - of the Western Man - is dead.

I say that it is dead because this health care bill will stay in place. I know there is a lot going on right now. There are arguments on the Hill, promises that a new majority party will repeal it, lawsuits in multiple states, individuals refusing to comply... and I love all of it! I truly do. But I also know how it will end. Read back over my other HELTHКAЯE ЯEFORM pieces. I've called it all along, not because I'm so damn smart (which I am), but because people are so damn predictable. I don't like it, I just know it.

Here's how they'll keep it in place:

The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act won't cost you a dime - I already stated this way back in Part 4, but you need to hear it again. The fact is that the tangible costs are going to directly hit your employer, medical facilities and personnel, "rich" folks, and your insurance company. All of these costs, of course, will be passed down to you, but you won't really care about or even notice it... because you never do. When did you quit bitching about the "fees" (read: non-voted taxes) on your phone bill, for instance? Many of the provisions of this bill don't take affect until 2013 or 14. That is not so they have time to repeal or repair it. It is to give time for the anger to wear off so that by the time the tangible costs start trickling down on us, we will merely be shouting "Fix our nationalized health care system!"

Your insurance company was killing you - Have you noticed a recent jump in your insurance premiums? I know I have felt it. Most insurance companies really popped up prices over the last year. This was in part a continuation of the trend established by the congressional protection of malpractice attorneys in filing bogus suits, but it was also because insurance companies deal in money and understand what mandatory insurance coverage will require. With more non-workers being covered and sick people encouraged to seek "free" treatment, those paying the bills will have to pay more. It's as simple as that. So these prices have been driven up by the very system that calls itself the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

Social Security is in trouble and needs to be replaced - This is old news... very old news. Anyone with a smattering of mathematical ability has known for years that Social Security is doomed. Congress has known it because they've been illegally "borrowing" from it for years. They even forced the railroads to help fund it. I covered the fact that the government intends to do away with it in detail in Part 5 and Part 7. But now you will hear about Social Security's problems more and more in the news. Because of some new discovery in demographics? Because of some outbreak of a premature aging virus? Because of a downward trend in new births? No. It's so you will embrace the new nationalized health care system. Articles just the other day revealed $1 million is not enough to retire on for the X-Generation because Social Security won't be there. Hey, my third grade teacher told me that 30 years ago! We've known it, but now congress can use that fact to scare us into supporting nationalized health care.

We fixed it and made it good - I firmly believe Democrats will be swept from congressional power in November. I think this legislation will have something to do with it, though there is a modern trend in this country for the voting public to split the White House and congress by party. That's a good thing no matter who is in the Oval Office. But make no mistake about it: the Republican Party will not repeal this legislation. Instead, they will tweak it just enough to call it their own and tell us all that they fixed it for us. Government programs are never eliminated (hell, look at the V-22 Osprey): they are merely re-politicized. Look at T.A.R.P. and the bailout. Oh, I remember who was there when it all started, and I remember that Republicans didn't put in place any oversight or accountability. But as soon as Obama was elected they started blaming everything on the Democrats. Don't get me wrong: the worthless Democrats did just about everything wrong that they possibly could... but the Republicans weren't innocent. You wouldn't know it from their crowing, though. The PPAC Act will be used the same way, just you watch.

You must respect the law - Check out this article. I want you to note this quote in particular:

"I am surprised by the mobilization of the states. It does strike me as a kind of civil disobedience, a declaration that we're not going to follow the law of the land," said Mark Hall, a professor of law and public health at Wake Forest University.

"It doesn't make sense. The federal Constitution couldn't be any clearer that federal law is supreme," Hall added.

I wrote to professor Hall and asked him to clarify the quote:

Were you misquoted? Taken out of context? I'm not asking about your opinion on the health care issue, but doesn't civil disobedience, by definition, fly in the face of federal law in this case? These actions (by the states) are challenges to proposed federal law. You are - it seems from the quote - prescribing that the solution to the problem is to follow the problem. This is not logical.

I ask this because you are presumably educating our children. It would seem from this presentation of your views that your are teaching them policy rather than how to think.

Not surprisingly, he did not respond. But this outlines the attitude of the mindless liberal: I wish it to be, therefore it is, and you have no right to argue against it. These people have been in charge of education for decades, instilling this principle into our children. Your government knows what is best for you; therefore, you should not question it. If you disagree with your government, you should work harder at figuring out why you are wrong... or better yet, sit back and accept it.

But this time is different, you say. Believe me, I would like nothing more than to be proven wrong on this. Those of you who know me personally know that that is as unlikely a statement as will ever come out of me, but it's true. I would love to be wrong on this.

But I'm not.

PUT A TIGER IN YOUR ----

Even as Tiger is planning his phoenix-like return to golf, new reports on his storied affairs are coming out. I think we're up to 147 mistresses. This guy must be going for some kind of record, though Wilt Chamberlain reportedly told him during one of his sex addiction classes that the key is to not keep going back to the same ones. I have to admit, though, I am impressed: I'm married to just one woman and do not engage in any extramarital activities, yet I can't even seem to find the time to slip in one round of golf every few months. This guy plays all the time! What time management. Franklin-Covey needs to be sponsoring this guy.

I want to share a little conversation I had with my wife this morning. She called to inform me that a porn star has come forward concerning her two-year affair with... well... everyone, but Tiger Woods specifically. (I told my wife she would have already known this if she got all of her celebrity news from South Park like me.) I think I know why Tiger had all these affairs. Hell, every man knows why - not that we'd do it, mind you. But we know why. Women are pouring themselves at your feet like a rock star, Tiger: you felt wanted and got addicted to that feeling. The Manly Power that comes with sleeping with lots of women. Could happen to anyone... except Ryan Seacrest.

But at some point shouldn't it become clear that they're not attracted to you, but to your position, Tiger? Sure, you worked hard to become the greatest golfer in the world and deserve a little reward (some might suggest a Scandinavian model-wife and a gazillion dollars to be a fairly bountiful reward, but to each his own). And, yes, a cocktail waitress, stewardess, exotic dancer, and perfume counter attendant can all theoretically be impressed by your raw sexual Axe Effect... and the fact that you can afford to tip over 15%. But a wallered out porn star? Dude, you ain't that great. Without the wallet and hat you look kinda goofy; you were up with Elin, waaay up. But with this porn star didn't at some point you stop and think, "Man... maybe she's faking it?" I mean, c'mon... you're no Jesse James.*

My wife said that if she were Elin she would divorce him and set him on fire. I joked, "Yeah, like 'Your honor, I was just setting the gas can on top of the canopy bed and it accidentally went off.'" Benita, my wife and a God-fearing, loving individual, replied:

No, my defense would be: But your Honor, he asked me to put the sleeping pills in his dinner then tie him up in the bed, pour hot wax in his throat and nostrils, set him on fire, chop him up into little pieces, and send those pieces to each of his lovers with a note that read: "Now you have a piece of Tiger, but I have all the money."

I got an invitation in the mail to hang out in Tiger's VIP lounge at the Masters. I think I'll stay home.



* I had to add this; got it in an email from my wife, referring to Jesse James:
"Hmmmm, he needs to be tied to the back of a motorcycle and dragged over spikes and nails, then through a pool of alcohol, then through a pit of scorpions (drive through this and the alcohol area slowly for the full effect). After that, his tats should be skinned off of his body with a dull knife and hot glued across the tat model's face and neck......then peeled back off with her skin until both are just bloody stumps of their former selves.....sounds good to me!"

"IS IT FRIDAY ALREADY?"

It's been quite an interesting week in our world. Not really, but I am going to try to make it seem so. Not really... I'm not going to try that hard.

Earlier this week someone working with R-word.org or just angry with White House Chief of Staff Rahm Emanuel leaked a partial transcript from a closed-door meeting that occurred six month sago. During this meeting Emanuel reportedly referred to some liberal activists as "f**king retarded." Almost immediately a firestorm erupted with folks objecting to his language calling for his immediate dismissal.

"We find Mr. Emanuel's language extremely offensive. We have worked hard at eliminating this word from the English language," said Carol Schumacher of the Invitro Fertilization Association. "It shows just how insensitive this administration is to-"

I'm kidding, of course. The firestorm came from one Sarah Palin, the upcoming Fox News show host, who wrote in a Facebook post entitled "Are You Capable of Decency, Rahm Emanuel?":

Just as we’d be appalled if any public figure of Rahm’s stature ever used the “N-word” or other such inappropriate language, Rahm’s slur on all God’s children with cognitive and developmental disabilities – and the people who love them – is unacceptable, and it’s heartbreaking.

I'm going to have to draw the line here. Now, I can't stand Rahm Emanuel or anyone else in the White House. But this is ridiculous. The man wasn't attacking children with "cognitive and developmental disabilities." He was using a phrase every single one of us used as a kid to describe a friend's behavior we thought was stupid. "Quit acting retarded, Jimmy. Right field ain't that bad."

Now, I'll admit that I have phased that word out of my repertoire over the years because it is a rather juvenile usage, but what do you expect from an administration that thinks the best way to deal with one's enemies is to bow to them? Did you really expect more mature behavior from Rahm Emanuel, Mrs. Palin? THAT would be retarded. Let's give him a break. It's not like he compared his bowling performance to the Special Olympics.

Since Nobel Peace Prize Winner Barack Obama has ended all wars around the globe people have begun looking closely at his economic strategy. The Savior described a recent unexpected drop in the unemployment rate as "cause for hope but not celebration." It would seem, Mr. President, that would be the way most of your former supporters would describe November 2008.

To take attention off the economy the Obama administration has Declared War on Toyota. Transportation Secretary Ray LaHood has taken credit for prodding the automaker - known for its commitment to quality and customer satisfaction - into action concerning sticky accelerator pedals and sluggish brakes through phone calls. It's good that the Obama Administration is looking out for our well-being and protecting us from those evil Japs who took over a week to profusely apologize for failing the auto consumer and providing a full recall.

Meanwhile, Ford was thinking about accepting some responsibility for the Pintos, Lincoln Town Cars, F-150s, Rangers, and other models that have randomly burst into flames over the years... then decided not to. GM: Part 2 breathed a sigh of relief knowing they don't even carry liability for vehicles produced prior to the bailout. Chrysler continued to Dodge the subject.

To wrap this up, I think Toyota should leave the brakes on the Prius alone... for Sarah Palin's sake. If people using words in empty, unthinking ways hurts others, what better vehicle for eliminating those people? Who drives Priuses? (Priusi?) College professors and the Hollywood "elite." Talk about emptiness. If an actor wants to look down his nose and admonish me, bragging about the fact that he drives a Prius - all the while ignoring the Hummer and Porsche in his garage, which is attached to a 6,000 SF home that stays heated and cooled year round, and the fact that he acts in movies, which, between lighting, computer usage, support crews, distribution, projection, and promotion, use more fossil fuel-based electricity each than the entire state of Arkansas produces - I say f**k his brakes... he's retarded!

GRAMMYS SCHMAMMYS

I followed up not watching the Miss America pageant on Saturday with not watching the Grammy's last night (busy winning $2.50 at poker), but I did catch up a bit today through the unavoidable news blips. As 97.3% of the people who read this blog likely missed the Grammy's as well, I'll give you a brief rundown of the night's events.

The most important part of the night (as well as the last 50 years of civilization) was the Michael Jackson Tribute. In addition to winning the obligatory Lifetime Achievement Award, a rag tag group of American Idol contestants and guests performed Earth Song while a 3-D video of This Is It played in the background. Two of Jackson's kids, Paris and Prince Michael, accepted the award, stating they would "continue to spread his message." Fortunately, decency standards would not allow the children to repeat Jackson's message or read any of the trail of court transcripts he left behind.

During the show audience members had to wear glasses equipped with red and green lenses, specially designed to hide the fact that there is no way those two children came from Michael Jackson's loins. LaToya Jackson was quoted as saying, "You can't claim those children aren't Michael's just because they don't look like him... yet."

Here is a partial list of the winners from last night:

Best female country vocal performance – Taylor Swift – “White Horse”
Best country song – Taylor Swift – “White Horse”
Album of the year – Taylor Swift – “Fearless”
Breakout artist of the year - Taylor Swift
Person of the year - Taylor Swift
Greatest contestant ever on American Idol - Taylor Swift

Might the Grammy's be rigged when a pedophile can win a Lifetime Achievement Award and a 19-year old can win more awards than Robert Earl Keen has in his entire lifetime??!!

Here are the rest of the awards for those who are interested:

Best dance recording – Lady Gaga

Best electronic/dance album – Lady Gaga – “The Fame”

Best male country vocal performance – Keith Urban – “Sweet Thing”

Best country performance by a duo/group with vocals – Lady Antebellum – “I Run To You”

Best country collaboration with vocals – Carrie Underwood & Randy Travis – “I Told You So”

Best bluegrass album – Steve Martin “The Crow/New Songs For The Five-String Banjo”

Best children’s music album – Ziggy Marley – “Family Time”

Best musical show album – West Side Story

Best compilation soundtrack album – Slumdog Millionaire

Best song written for motion picture, television or other visual media – Slumdog Millionare – “Jai Ho”

Best remixed recording, non-classical – David Guetta featuring Kelly Rowland – “When Love Takes Over”

Best male pop vocal performance – Jason Mraz – “Make It Mine”

Best pop performance by a duo or group with vocals – Black Eyed Peas – “I Gotta Feeling”

Best pop collaboration with vocals – Jason Mraz & Colbie Callait – “Lucky”

Best pop instrumental album – Booker T. Jones – “Potato Hole”

Best pop vocal album – The Black Eyed Peas – The E.N.D.

Best traditional pop vocal album – Michael Buble – “Michael Buble Meets Madison Square Garden”

Best rock solo performance – Bruce Springsteen – “Working On A Dream”

Best rock performance by a duo/group w/vocals – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”

Best hard rock performance – AC/DC – “War Machine”

Best metal performance – Judas Priest – “Dissident Aggressor”

Best rock instrumental performance – Jeff Beck – “A Day In The Life”

Best rock song – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”

Best alternative music album – Phoenix – “Wolfgang Amadeus Phoenix”

Best female R&B vocal performance – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”

Best male R&B vocal performance – Maxwell – “Pretty Wings”

Best R&B performance by a duo/group with vocals – Jamie Foxx & T-Pain – “Blame It”

Best traditional R&B vocal performance – Beyonce – “At Last”

Best urban/alternative performance – India.Arie & Dobet Gnahore – “Pearls”

Best R&B song – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”

Best R&B album – Maxwell – “BLACKsummer’snight”

Best contemporary R&B album – Beyonce – “I Am…Sasha Fierce”

Best rap solo performance – Jay-Z – “D.O.A.”

Best rap performance by a duo/group – Eminem, Dr. Dre & 50 Cent – “Crack A Bottle”

Best rap song – Rihanna, Jay-Z & Kanye West – “Run This Town”

Best rap album – Eminem – “Relapse”

Best short form music video – The Black Eyed Peas – “Boom Boom Pow”

Best long form music video – Various Artists – “The Beatles Love – All Together Now”

Song of the year – Beyonce – “Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)”

Best country album – Taylor Swift – “Fearless”

Best new artist – Zac Brown Band

Best comedy album – Stephen Colbert – “The Greatest Gift Of All!”

Record of the year – Kings Of Leon – “Use Somebody”

Best rock album – Green Day – “21st Century Breakdown”

Best rap/sung collaboration – Jay-Z, Rihanna & Kanye West – “Run This Town”

Best female vocal performance – Beyonce – “Halo”
Best spoken word album – Michael J. Fox – “Always Looking Up”

Some of these categories really got to me. Best Spoken Word Album? Did they not retire that category after William Shatner's The Transformed Man?



I want to see some contemporary categories. How about these:

Worst lip-synching mistake on live television -
Strangest coupling of celebrities -
Most children purchased from foreign country -
Best crotch shot getting out of car (female) -
Best crotch shot getting out of car (Adam Lambert) -
Least likely to be remembered in 3 years -
Most likely to fall to B-movies (Debbie Gibson Memorial Award) -

Nominations anyone?

THE JOE WILSON SHOW

It's time for another episode of The Joe Wilson Show tonight, and you've got a sneak preview exclusively here on edwardgroberts.blogspot.com, so tell all of your friends. You can catch the live broadcast tonight at 9:00 PM EST on the channel that would otherwise be broadcasting something worth a squat. Without further ado, here it is:

BILL LIVINGOOD: Madam Speaker… the President of the United States.

(applause)

BARACK OBAMA: Madame Speaker, Mr. Vice President, Members of Congress, and the First Lady of the United States:

One year ago we started down a new pa- oh, and my fellow Amuslicans. One year ago we started down a new path: one of hope and of change. We have come a long way, the light is at the end of the tunnel, yes we can, we will win.

(short applause from Pelosi and Biden)

Thank you. Thank you. Today some are suggesting that our efforts are not working, but I want to be perfectly clear – they are.

Unemployment may be up, but hope is high. This administration’s approval ratings may be low right now, but so are copper prices. What does all this mean? It means our economy has never looked better. And with me in the White House the hope is going to change all of this into a more stable and viable national agenda capitalizing on helping Americans and immigrants create a better tomorrow for the future of children...

(confused silence)

We are going to fix all of this over the next year and here is how I am going to do it:

(applause)

I’m putting a freeze on all domestic spending for the next three years. The deficit is at an all time high due to an unprecedented and reckless amount of spending, and we must put a stop to it. For too long Washington has been throwing money around as if it were just that *snap* easy to print, and those who are responsible must be held accountable. My staff and I will be going over George Bush’s economic record right down to his personal checkbook to find out where all this money has gone.

If Americans are going to be on top again we must fix the education system. To that end I am calling for a 6% increase in Education spending domestically. This will create much needed jobs at both the teaching and administration levels, and represent a huge increase in government education contracts. I am also introducing a brand new idea that I came up with… well, me and the Democratic members of congress that are up for re-election this year – they helped me on it, so remember that. Anyway, we’re going to start Charter Schools all over the country. This will introduce competition in education, just like in business.

And speaking of business, some CEOs seem to be under the impression that I am against big business. I want to be perfectly clear on this: nothing could be further from the truth.

JOE WILSON: You lie!

(loud murmur and applause from all but Pelosi and Biden)

BARACK OBAMA: The caps on CEO wages that I am endorsing are for your own good. With that your compensation is tied to stock market value through stock bonuses and buy-backs, rather than the long term value of the company and its product. This way the economy turns around faster on paper and you get a bigger piece of the pie through Wall Street manipulation. Good for you. Good for stockholders. Good for my administration. Good for everybody.

During this time of economic hardship it seems that prices on commodities are rising without any logical reason. Oil fluctuates daily though the supply and refining capacities remain either constant or on the rise. This is due to the health care situation in this country. I want congress to buckle down and get something passed before Novemb- uh, before we lose the momentum needed to bring about what all of the Americans who can’t afford it want.

As you all know, recently the Supreme Court ruled that corporations and other far right interest groups will be able to make movies that send messages to the voters. This decision could very well be used to try to discredit the health care reform that we are working so hard on, or our initiatives to reign in out of control business in America. That is why I am taking steps to dampen the effect of this ruling against the American voice. I am appointing Michael Moore as the Czar of Media Messaging.

Finally, some in the media have suggested that I did not respond adequately to the attempted bombing of a Detroit-bound commercial airliner in December. I want to be clear on this: nothing could be further from the truth. And I really don’t think these hate-mongers represent the best of America. To show just how wrong they are I am announcing a new initiative to battle terrorism.

Thanks to some family ties on my father’s side, we will be taking over all administrative duties of Al-Qaeda starting immediately. This will be a three-pronged approach. First, we have determined that Al-Qaeda Afghanistan, where we have made great strides militarily, is just too big to fail. So, starting now we will be funneling monies from the pirates in Somalia and terrorist cells in other parts of the Middle East and redistributing it to those in the hills of Afghanistan. We call this the Terrorist Activity Realignment Plan. This will keep a concentration of terrorists in Afghanistan, thus giving the US military a more manageable area of operations where they can continue to keep their performance numbers up.

Second, we are going to offer all terrorists employment through their local governments. These jobs will include everything from repairing road surfaces damaged through wars and years of neglect, to damaging road surfaces to ensure continued employment. These will be stable, government jobs. It is time to get them off the battlefield and onto the public payroll.

And finally, in order to win the terrorists loyalty and divert their attention away from the fact that we are trying to destroy their way of life and turn their nations into the picture we have in our minds, we are going to offer them universal healthcare. We will be able to raise the money for this by taxing their income – from those government jobs we are setting up – at a 50 to 60 % rate. Actually, I really don’t know how much it will be – we’ll figure that out after the fact. But no matter what it will buy their loyalty and bankrupt their operations.

PELOSI: Uh, Mr. President… doesn’t that seem a bit far-fetched? I mean, they’ll never go for it.

BARACK OBAMA: You’d be surprised, Nancy. You'd be surprised.

(room fills with maniacal laughter)