They say men think differently. If by 'differently' they mean logically, then I will agree. My wife snorted when she read that statement (I could hear her from my desk). It's always tough getting a woman to recognize that men are so much more rational and logical than they... but then, what can one expect? They aren't logical or rational.
Now that I have gotten rid of all the women, men... I need some help. I am intent on designing the perfect grocery store for men. A Mancery, if you will. And I need your help with the design. I'm not talking about the exterior so much. Or even the interior. Decor and temperature don't really concern me as I want to spend as little time inside a store as possible. Carts... no need for one of those, or even baskets. Maybe they could put handles on all the food... that would be good, though eating a banana might then be an even more awkward affair.
No, I'm thinking more along the lines of layout... product placement. And I need your help with it. Write in with your suggestions. We need shopping with a man in mind - The Mancery Store. Let me explain.
I went to Walmart with my wife the other night. I didn't want to, I was hungry. We hate Walmart almost as much as we hate Walmart patrons. Walmart has recently rearranged everything in the store. This is to better compete against Target, I suppose, as 40 percent of the store seems to be clothing now. (On a related note, they only had 17 music CD's for sale. You want an overpriced movie or a video game - name your poison. Any decent music from before May of 2007 - good luck. Gotta get on the interwed and have it downloaded directly into your brain pod.) Anyway, I can't find a danged thing inside a Walmart anymore. And it isn't just them... all grocery stores are like this. I'm just using The New Big Blue as the example:
There is a row in my local Walmart that contains chips. Everything from tortilla to potato. Any kind of chip you want. But if you're looking for crackers, you'd better look somewhere else. They're f
our rows over with the candy. Candy??!! Can anyone tell me why? Have you ever had to make the choice between Tootsie Rolls or Saltines? Ever put a Lifesaver on your Wheat Thins? Of course not! Chips and crackers are the same food group designed for the same type of gatherings. If you have dip, you serve chips. Cheese, crackers. Chips, dip, crackers, and cheese should be grouped together. Logical and neat. And there are others...Wieners, hot dog buns, mustard, beer, chili, and toilet paper. Questions? No.
Milk, chocolate syrup, ice cream, and breakfast cereal all laid out in a row.
Peanut butter, jelly, bread, sliced meat, and mayo across from the tortillas, fajita meat, refried beans, and jalepeños.
Grits, biscuits, and eggs. Bacon can be between the eggs and ground beef and hamburger buns. Lettuce, onions, ketchup, and french fries should be adjacent to the buns.
Deoderant, toothpaste, toothbrushes, shaving cream, razors, and combs should be on the same shelf, or better yet, poured on top of one another in a bin.That leaves beef jerky. It's not meat. It's not vegetable. It's not candy. So it really doesn't belong next to anything else. That's why every Mancery will have a Beef
Jerky Kiosk right next to the checkout stages. "Gentlemen, now appearing on the main stage... Bambi and her scanner." (Cue the AC/DC song and stage lights.)What have I left out guys? What changes would make your grocery shopping experience more tolerable?
Put the beer, milk and big boxes of laundry soap up front. I am tired of carrying the heaviest stuff from the back of the store. -bigjimsmith
ReplyDeleteYour suggestions sound good for a woman shopper too. Since walking is a task for me I double hate WAL-MART and the riding scooter's basket doesn't hold as much as I usually buy once I decide I have no choice but to go to Wal-Mart.
ReplyDeleteThey put the milk , cokes and eggs at the back so you have to pass all the other stuff that you'll buy because it looks good but you don't really need. Looking foward to you opening a Mancery.
BJS: Great suggestion! We're getting somewhere now.
ReplyDeleteAnonymous: That's exactly right. That's why they separate crackers and chips... so you'll buy both. Another oddity: toiletries over by the toys and lawn equipment. I buy toiletries when I buy groceries... put 'em together so I don't have to take a bus and three taxis across the store to find them!
Oh, no... I got myself started:
ReplyDeleteIt used to be in this country that a successful business was one that provided what the customer wanted at a reasonable price. That's when Americans could think for themselves and were headstrong. Today, it is all about manipulating the customer into wanting what the store is offering at whatever price. That's why this garbage is spread out all over kingdom come... so you will have to pass all those goodies "on sale" while making your necessities trip.
Every trip to the store has become a kaleidoscope of garbage, a barrage of consumerism, an effort to flood the senses until you surrender and take whatever they throw in front of you. Forget Guerrilla Marketing, this is the new model: Disney Marketing.
well, all of the food groups/ basic needs:toiletries, meat/sandwich breads, crackers/chips, barbecue sauces/spices, and for me to experience the necessity later; beer. 5 total rows. easy to get to and well organized.now to re-arrange the govt into something simple yet adequate. -Stanton-
ReplyDelete