EXTREME MAKEOVER!

You may have read about issues surrounding EXTREME MAKEOVER: Health Edition during the past few months... uh, I mean, Home Edition. It seems there has been an epidemic of foreclosures involving the innocent families that ABC has disrupted by forcing them to abandon their homes and move into larger, better lifestyle-suited structures at the same location. While ABC generally begins every episode with some bogus sob story about a veteran who has lost several limbs, or an elderly couple who adopt fifteen unwanted crack babies, the AP has been following those who truly deserve our sympathy, such as contest winner Dr. Brian Wofford, who may now lose his Encinitas, California home.

"A lot of people think when you get the house you get the mortgage. Well, you don't," complained Wofford. You see, when the mortgage crisis that hit all of us also affected him, he failed to get a loan modification after "providing documents, and providing documents again and again and again," according to his attorney, Mike Curran.

Then there was the case of Milton and Patricia Harper of Atlanta. They used their home as collateral for a $450,000 loan to start a construction business. When the business failed they couldn't afford to pay the mortgage because of the money they owed to "credit card companies, pawn shops and a cell phone company, and outstanding garbage bills with the city." They were saved by filing for bankruptcy.

There were others, like Sadie Holmes, a former drug addict turned social worker who nearly lost her home after racking up $30,000 in fines due to code violations. Damn ABC! And the list goes on and on and on.

You see, when ABC comes in and rebuilds or remodels one of these homes, they don't step up to the plate and do the right thing by paying off the original mortgage. Imagine you were making payments on a Chevy Malibu you picked out and purchased and Howard Stern came up and had professionals convert it into a Rolls Royce, but then made you go ahead and keep paying for it like it was the Malibu you initially bought. That's bad enough, but what if he also didn't pay for the extra gas that the Rolls used? You'd go out of your now Grey Poupon-eating mind! Well, that's what ABC has done.

Does ABC not know that gifts are seldom regarded as sacredly as that which is earned? Shouldn't they have considered that people who are in financial trouble will likely get into more financial trouble when provided the vehicle to do so? Didn't they realize that financial and housing market fluctuations affect everyone, no matter how they acquired their housing? Couldn't they have at least been responsible enough to tell their contest winners these things?

Well, fear not: this won't happen again in the near future. ABC is scaling back. The options lists on the Extreme Makeover homes won't include swimming pools, saunas, and tennis courts in the future. No, the extra amenities will be more along the lines of Chinese wallboard, indoor plumbing, and walls. Back to the basics to keep the winners safe from themselves.

Although references abound to families facing foreclosure, I can find reference to only one that has supposedly gone through foreclosure. That's less than 1% of the Extreme Makeover homes. Who pays the price for those mistakes? Future "winners." I hate to see anyone lose their home, but now thanks to the less than 1% of free extreme makeover recipients who can not handle their own finances, any future winners will see much less extreme in their coming makeovers.

That's a formula to think about the next time you find yourself waiting in an Obamacare Emergency Room.