In the News...

Rahm Emanuel, the oft-controversial Chief of Staff of the Obama Administration, has announced that he will be leaving his post. Seems he got to wondering how he could possibly be involved in a government office more self-serving, more crooked, and worse for its constituency than the one currently occupying the White House. He apparently found his answer and will announce today that he is running for the Mayor of Chicago.

I don't know what kind of Mayor Emanuel will be (I don't think it really matters in Chicago), but I do hate to see him go: he's good for news. As long as everyone on Capitol Hill is a worthless scumbag, might as well keep the entertaining ones. Before he steps down let's revisit a few of his more memorable quotes:

• I don't want to go negative on Franklin Delano Roosevelt, but he didn't pass an economic deal in the first 100 days. We have passed the largest Recovery Act in the history of the country.
• You never let a serious crisis go to waste. And what I mean by that it's an opportunity to do things you think you could not do before.
• I believe the record I was allowed to help establish by the side of the president was important.
• There's no safe Republican district. You can run, but you cannot hide.

The loud-mouthed and empty Emanuel will be replaced Pete Rose, the gambling drunk who... oh, wait. Pete Rouse. Nobody knows much about him. Quiet. Insider. Experienced. Described as a "fixer." Of course, that's a fixer of perception, not of bad policy. I'd rather have Pete Rose in there.

Speaking of people who will never make it into the Hall of Fame...

Self-appointed KISS pimp Gene Simmons is hot after his "band" was snubbed from nomination to the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame. Although they have been eligible since 1999, only one nomination has been bestowed upon the 70's powerhouse, but alas they did not rack up enough votes. The King of KISS tried to make a good point about the band's legitimacy:

"There's nobody in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame -- in fact, if you took all of them and put them together -- they couldn't match all the licensing and merchandising we've done and the legacy we've left."

Good try, Gene, but for some reason it just comes out rather self-serving and shallow. And I must have missed the part about music. This year not even Simmons' work on the forthcoming Guitar Hero: Warriors of Rock could muster enough enthusiasm to give the band a nod. The 61-year old vampire is excited about the new video game, claiming it features everything from Queen to KISS - the whole gamut. Whoa! You mean everything from glam rock to glam hard rock??!! WOW!

Looks like the KISS Army really has to get their act together if this band is ever going to be recognized for something other than what it always has been.

And speaking of armies that have no real-world legitimacy...

The Iranian Revolutionary Guard received its first shipment of flying boats this week. This is indeed exciting news for Iran, and any anglers who have been searching for a way to level the playing field while hunting the elusive flying fish. The boats will likely be used for surveillance and several news conferences before being completely ignored by the Obama Administration... just like Iran's nuclear program.

The sight of these boats conjures up another image in my memory banks, but I just can't place it.

Oh yeah... that's it.